Self Soothing Techniques – shift uncomfortable feelings

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27 Responses

  1. Lynn says:

    I wished I have read this article earlier, Yes, I think I have this habit of worrying excessively and the toughest part is I can’t seemed to stop dwelling on all the worries and anxiety. I think shifting our attention to our senses is a great way. While reading through this post, I tried to imagine myself sitting near a river with water flowing slowly as well as imagining the sound of the water at the same time. I was very amazed that I feel much calm after doing this! I think I will try this exercise every night when my anxiety sets in. I look forward to more tips in this area!

  2. Ami Ness says:

    Hi, thanks for this great post! I used to go to the beach and listen to the sound of the waves when I was living in my home country. Right now, the beaches are hours away. That was one of the perks of living in a small island. Beaches where everywhere. What I’m currently doing is just listening to calm music or eating chocolate. Chocolate ice cream has been my go to lately. I will try some other ideas you mentioned. Thank you!

  3. Jackson kenny says:

    This is such a beautiful post, I really enjoyed reading it. For me, when i feel anger or in a sober mood, I always try to wrote a story, it’s very funny but it works for me. I just write out anything that comes to my head and end it on a happy note. As opposed to classical music that you wrote on this blog, I love listening to loud hiphop when I’m sober. And sometimes I just go to a restaurant to have good food. LOL These techniques you’ve written are very good and I’ll be sure to try out a new one. Thanks for this post

  4. RoDarrick says:

    This post is spot on for me. I always get tensed by very little situations or circumstances. Most times, whenever things are not going my way at work, I get very distracted and nervous. The only thing I engage in is to take a walk away from office to have a look at the beautiful hibiscus flower setting in the company’s yard. That always restore my calm. I’m glad I can get to know of various other ways through this post. Thanks

  5. Robert Trevor says:

    From my own experience, listening to a favorite song, has a good calming effect on me,helping to keep negative thoughts at bay,focusing on the meaning of the words, gets me into a different frame of mind,and at peace.

    Also as I am a musician, playing a more difficult piece, makes me concentrate the music,and forget the problem, or situation for a time,and gets me in a better frame of mind.

    The sound of the sea, always has a calming and soporific effect,and just relaxing at the beach, is a wonderful therapy for me, I can drift off to sleep, very easily and awake calm and refreshed, the combination of the sound and the smell of the sea is so special.

    Enjoying a good meal with friends and loved ones, is very beneficial, the endorphins released when eating, and the love and friendship, around the table,have a wonderful and calming effect, especially if there is fun and laughter shared together. 


  6. Sondra M says:

    I am so glad that I found your article about self soothing techniques to shift “uncomfortable” feelings.  Stressful feelings.   As you said, it is part of life to encounter stress and unhappiness.  However, lately I’ve had numerous stressful situations almost non stop.   Granted, I have has some great things happen in life also.  So, I am not forgetting about my blessings.  Yet, I also know that I needed to find some ways to relax so that I don’t end up getting sick from the extreme pressure and unhappy feelings.   

    Your list of ideas was WAY better than I expected to find.   As soon as I finish writing this, I will try to follow a few of your suggestions.  I will try to pick out at least one thing from each of the different types of senses.   It never occurred to me how nice smells are so relaxing.  Music,  looking at things that make up happy…   I think your ideas will help me relax and be les stressed.  In turn, that should help me shift some of my uncomfortable feelings. 

    Thank you!  

    • Kat says:

      Hi Sondra, I am so glad you found these to be more than you expected. Like you say, feelings are normal but when there are multiple events that have an emotional charge to them, this can build up and make it even harder to deal with due to the accumulation effects this has on one’s emotions. I would be keen to hear more about how you find the activities help you through this stressful time. Blessings ~kat

  7. JJ says:

    This is interesting to me because I suffered, for several years, with anxiety attacks and feeling of overwhelm that would seem to come up for no obvious reason. I have worked through all the therapies I could get my hands on and this idea of awareness and distraction(as the action) is what eventually did it for me. Thank you for setting out the summary so beautifully because your article encompasses the thoughts, the symptoms, the feelings, the action and how to cope. 

    • Kat says:

      Hi JJ, thanks for sharing your experience with anxiety attacks and strong feelings. It can be such a hard journey when feelings are so overwhelming, so having tools to work through them can make it easier and manageable. All the best ~kat

  8. Gomer says:

    Honestly, I am so downed that I can’t think properly over things. My mind is cloudy, I have so many problems especially with money that creditors and money collectors are hounding me like I’m a criminal running for my life. That situation got me here in your website looking for answers.

    No matter how big my problem is, I’m thankful that I’m still intact, my mental health is still intact. Perhaps, my faith in God has helped me achieve this fighter spirit that you should not easily give up. 

    In this article of yours, you suggested using the senses so you free up that part of your brain that’s doing heavy lifting as far as thinking is concern. Shift to the senses from the thinking mode, am I right with this comprehension?

    I need guidance as I cannot think properly now. Thankfully, I did not resort to drinking alcoholic drinks.

    • Kat says:

      Hi Gomer, thanks for sharing the struggles you’ve been having recently. Having financial concerns are very real and very anxiety provoking. It’s important to self care during these times. You’re on the right track by thinking about things you are grateful for and can see that you have many things to be thankful for. This is very important when dealing with high stress. You are right in your understanding of giving your thinking brain a break by using your physical senses. I encourage you to find at least one in the list here that you can do that you enjoy to use your different senses. I recommend this program to work through the anxiety. Of if you would like to chat with myself, I am happy to work with you. Simply fill out the contact form in the top menu and I am happy to connect with you Gomer. ~kat

  9. Michelle says:

    Beautiful website! It is for me a very interesting topic since I have a lot of anxiety. Your post of the 4 pillars of wellbeing were very useful. I also stop in your post of Self Soothing techniques and I liked it very much. I never thought of taste as a calming effect. Then I remembered that chocolate is scientifically proven to enhance the endorphins levels. And I love chocolate. Coffee is may favorite (I am a coffee junkie) and as with green tea it can awake you in a restful way.

    Very good looking website and I like how organize it is. The only suggestion is to bring a link that leads you to the description of the word “mandala” since not everyone is related to this jargon. Overall is very peaceful to just visit your website, very well done!

    • Kat says:

      Hi Michelle, it’s lovely to have you visit. I’m also glad you found us as it sounds like your experience of anxiety is a tough one and there is a growing number of posts here to help with anxiety. Yes, chocolate is a very delectable taste, which has the added bonus of enhancing endorphins, so I hope you can find one that delights your senses while being able to help you feel a sense of calm when you need it. Thanks for your feedback, i will endeavour to add more detail to the meaning of what a mandala. All the best and look forward to hearing of your experiences of overcoming anxiety. ~kat

  10. thejimb2 says:

    A very beautiful and also very practical article. I first heard about Dialectal Behavior Therapy about 10 years ago in a book about using DBT to treat eating disorders. It really appealed to me. I was in CBT at the time and it was really helping me. At the same time I was also reading books by Thích Nhất Hạnh.  When I saw DBT it seemed to be combining the two. That really excited me. Cognitive positive reframing and mindful meditation.

    You give some great suggestions. Some I’m already doing. Some that are new that I will have to try.

    Thank you

    Meanwhile, I have my nag champa Incense, my Chopin nocturnes and my Yin Hao tea. 

    • Kat says:

      I love your calming incense, music and tea that are soothing your senses lol! Well done for knowing how to apply these techniques as well has putting them into practice to help manage our everyday stresses and sharing just how easy it is to do this consciously.  I too love cognitive positive reframing and mindful meditation as strategies to help one work from within. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience. ~kat 

  11. Lokhi says:

    This is very nicely written, thanks for sharing it. I really like the tips and info that you’ve posted on self-soothing. I’m going to have to share this with my daughter.

    When I’m stressed or out of sorts, I put on either relaxation/meditation music or the music of a band called PaleoWolf. I also like to listen to either white or brown noise, both are very calming.

    A good walk through the woods is also very de-stressing, just listening to the sounds of nature and enjoying the scenery. I also like to walk along the beach at night, mainly bc no one else is around & I can focus on the sound of the waves and coolness of the air. It might sound silly, but it helps.

    • Kat says:

      Hi Lokhi, there’s nothing silly about focusing on the sounds of nature where ever you are. Being in one’s own space can be so peaceful and walking alone in the woods or on the beach can be very effective in helping manage our senses. Music is so helpful, I often encourage my own children to play a song they love to help them shift a not so good mood, especially if they’re cranky with each other lol! I hope your daughter can also find these helpful for her too. Regards, ~kat

  12. Jim says:

    Thanks for this information!
    I had some problems with anxiety and that’s why I decided to try meditating. It helped me, but I still wanted to find complementary ways of calming yourself, and then I found your website. Thank you very much 🙂

    • Kat says:

      Hi Jim, thanks for sharing your experience with anxiety. It’s good that you’ve found meditating helpful and hopefully these ideas shared here will also help with managing it when it happens. ~kat

  13. Kathy Joyce says:

    I loved reading this post and the ideas you give for self soothing. I am prone to feeling stressed, being a worrier by nature. I already follow many of your suggestions. Mindfulness is great as it makes you focus on the present. Taste can be really comforting, and being a chocolate lover I find a few squares helps. Plus, coffee calms me down as well, even though it’s a stimulant!

    • Kat says:

      Hi Kathy, it’s great that you already engage in actively doing so many of these ideas! I can understand why chocolate can help lol! Even though coffee is a stimulant, it can be comforting to drink it, so enjoy 🙂 ~kat

  14. Hi Kat,
    I really enjoyed this article. As someone who is very prone to bouts of anxiety this was a great read. I particularly liked the section on smell, as I think this one sense is often forgotten about and is probably one of the most calming. I love scented candles, it’s amazing how much calmer an environment feels to me when I have one lit. I agree that correcting our focus is one of the best tools we have to hand and you’ve executed this and the suggestions beautifully.

    You’re so right about us being able to trick our brains. It can feel hard at the time and takes discipline but it’s so worth the benefits. Thanks for sharing this information. I really enjoyed the layout as well. Lots of easy to follow suggestions in a way that is easy to digest visually. All the best.

    • Kat says:

      Hi Natalie, welcome. Thanks for the feedback on the site as well as your own experience of what helps you calm down. I love using the sense of smell too, as it’s so effective and fast at helping us relax and refocus. Cheers ~kat

  15. Helen says:

    I enjoyed reading your post and it’s exactly what I needed right now as I’m currently going through the selling/buying a house process which can be very stressful!
    I haven’t thought before about using the 5 senses as a means to calm down and distract myself, so I will be using some of your techniques over the next few days.

    • Kat says:

      Hi Helen, wow, selling and buying can be quite stressful. Getting in touch with your senses will be an added tool to your coping strategies during the stress that’s involved in this process. Sounds like a great plan. Enjoy the new house when it’s all finalized 🙂 ~kat

  16. Hi, Kat.

    Thank you so much for your valuable post. I’ve been looking for some article to help with this issue. I’m going through a restless stage at this moment, and can definitely use your advice from above.

    You’re right, though, I most certainly need to watch out regarding the chocolate part. I’m a hopeless chocoholic, and dark chocolate, in particular, makes me forget everything else at times. I’ve got serious work to do, concerning chocolate cravings and how to control them.

    Perhaps you could write a helpful article with tips on how to manage this for me? I’m assuming, however, that I’m not the only one having an “issue” with this, or at least I hope so. Lol!

    Anyway, many thanks for sharing these valuable insights with us. Unlike certain other articles I read about this topic, one can feel with yours that you’re really connected and care, and I highly appreciate it.

    I’m sending you many blessings and happiness,


    • Kat says:

      Chocolate is many people’s weakness lol! I do have a theory of this, so keep a look out for how I address cravings for chocolate in a future post :). It’s great that youve found this site to help you manage that restlessness. You can apply these techniques for those times for sure. Blessings to you too Alexandra ~kat

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