Self Soothing Techniques – shift uncomfortable feelings

Self Soothing Techniques

Self soothing techniques can be helpful if you’re experiencing high anxiety or strong negative feelings. It’s also a useful technique for anyone who wants to shift how they feel. It’s gentle and helps redirect the thoughts where the emotions may have come from. Life happens, as we all know, but sometimes, feelings happen which can be difficult to sit with, so if you need some extra tools to allow the feelings to sit with you, these self soothing techniques can come in useful.

This is a strategy used by many therapists to help someone who is experiencing high anxiety, or overwhelming feelings to engage to bring them back down to a calmer state. For some people, there is a lower tolerance to stress so they have a heightened experience of negative feelings in response to this lower tolerance. This can wreak havoc on one’s senses, emotions and behaviours.

It’s a technique drawn from Dialectical Behaviour therapy designed to manage what’s known as Distress Tolerance. It can also help anyone who experiences negative feelings and struggling to sit with those feelings. It can be hard to sit with feelings when they’re uncomfortable. Being human means we come with a wide range of emotions. That means sometimes when life happens, we might feel these not so good feelings. When that happens and it’s hard to shift them, put some of these strategies in place as a way to help you shift those feelings, while finding a way to accept them being there.

For those who experience these negative feelings, it helps to recognise and accept that sometimes you will feel some negative and not so good feelings. It’s normal to experience uncomfortable feelings sometimes, and reassure yourself that it’s okay. Accept that there will be times when you feel uncomfortable, and can’t change the situation. To help you work through these times, practice using these self soothing techniques.

Use of Senses

When applying self soothing techniques, you use your senses to help you focus on something else. This has a nurturing effect on your soul.

Sight

Have a look around you and notice things in your space. In particular, look for things that appeal to you.

Print out a picture that helps you feel comfortable and calm.

Reading a positive quote can also work, here’s a highly regarded program to get you started.

Other ideas include:

Think about your favorite colour. Even if you can’t see it, think about how it looks and picture it in your mind.
What is your favorite flower? Visualise how this might look to you. Notice what color they are, it’s shape, which environment does it look it’s best etc.
Look at favorite artwork or photo.
Find a mandala to focus on that you enjoy.
Read poetry or a feel good story

Sound

Think about something you enjoy hearing the sounds of. It’s about things that make you feel happy and calm. Do a search, or have already saved on your device your favorite sounds.

Examples of use of sound for self soothing

Sounds of nature such as waves at the beach
sounds of the rainforest
Waterfall
A baby laughing
Music – favourite songs,
Play an instrument or listen to classical music
Listen to birds
The sound of bubbles in a fish tank
Movement of water in a stream
The sound of rain on the roof

Touch

Give someone a hug. This helps your brain release oxytocin which is higher in women. It is also released simply being near someone. When oxytocin is released, it helps reduce blood pressure, and the stress hormone norepinephrine. Which in turn will help you shift how you feel through this shift in hormones released. You can even give yourself a hug. The body simply senses the touch, not who’s doing it, so hugging yourself is okay too and can have a calming effect.

Other ideas include:

Get a massage as this is also shown to help boost happy hormones. Read more about this here.
Hug or hold your pet. Pets have a very effective way of helping us ground ourselves. Notice how they feel, their texture, temperature, movements etc. I’ve also written a post about how having a pet can help us manage our emotions here.
Put on moisturiser or body oil and notice how it feels as you apply it.
Find a soft fluffy blanket to snuggle with and wrap around you for comfort.
Sink your feet into the sand at the beach or the grass and connect with nature.
Sit in a spa or pool and feel the water movement around you.

Smell

What is your favorite smell? See if you can have it on hand for times when you need to self soothe and manage how you feel using this technique. Having some essential oils can be really handy to help you have ready for times when you need to practice some self soothing techniques.

Smells you might like to have access to are

roses and flowers
essential oils such as lavender, vanilla, geranium which are all calming and relaxing oils used to calm the mind.
smell of the beach, perhaps go for a drive or trip to the beach if it’s nearby to give you the chance to smell the sea air.
rainforests also have a fresh, calming smell of their own
the fresh smell of cut grass (for those not allergic to grass anyway)
the smell of baking a cake is also calming
the smell of chocolate

Taste

Our taste buds can also be helpful in shifting our focus on the emotional aspects of our current experience, Here you might want to consider tasting something you enjoy. Be mindful not to over indulge especially in sugary or processed foods. If you are prone to comfort eating, avoid this strategy and try one of the ones above or focus on the healthy options such as tea or coffee.

Examples include:

a hot cup of tea, coffee or chocolate
the taste of something that’s vanilla as vanilla has a calming effect. My personal favorite is keto vanilla custard
chocolate is also a popular taste. Just don’t over indulge as you might feel worse for it.
a nice herbal tea and notice the tastes of the herbs used in it. This might include berries, chamomile, citrus flavors.
Green tea has also been shown to lower anxiety and have a calming effect due to its antioxidants, and polyphenols that are contained in the leaves of the tea. So enjoy the taste and get some relaxation in the process.
Enjoy your favorite meal or try some new tastes and focus on it.

Support with Self Soothing

To have some brightly coloured reminders for your phone or to print out for yourself, click on the link below.

Final words

I hope this can help manage feelings when they become overwhelming and you find yourself struggling to keep calm from so many emotions.

When we use our senses it can trick our brains so we focus on something else. It also allows our brains to use other parts that don’t require thinking by using the senses instead. Keep this in mind for if you are prone to stressful situations, or have been having a hard time. We can’t always control how we respond emotionally to a situation, but we can self soothe to give us comfort to help us get through the challenges life might throw at us.

July 7, 2019December 11, 2019

How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally

Managing Anxiety – How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally

Anxiety is an unwelcome emotion experienced by many people across the world. It can be hard to live with when you haven’t learnt where it comes from and how to manage it. I aim to share some tips for managing anxiety and look at how to overcome anxiety naturally so that you can work through this feeling when it happens.

Anyone who knows what anxiety is, knows the challenge in trying to manage it on their own. It’s something that has been increasing over time with estimates of 40 million people in the US alone. It is treatable, but only approx 10% of people reach out for support.

In a nutshell, it has thoughts that are focused in the future or triggered from the past. This means that when we experience anxiety, it’s usually the result of the direction of your thoughts. Thoughts are often focusing on things that haven’t happened yet, or the worry of what could happen. These are ‘what if’ thoughts.

It is based around fear and a sense of not feeling safe in some way. It’s connected with our physiology through the fight and flight system.

Anxiety can be treated with medication however it’s not the only way to help you manage anxiety.

Medication is usually what the GP will prescribe, however it’s not the only option and can be managed without medication naturally. Do not suddenly go off prescribed medication without discussing this first with your doctor.

Different Types of Anxiety.

One can be triggered by something, and when this happens it can be very difficult to silence the ongoing thoughts as a result. Sending one into a spiral of thoughts that keep hammering our insides. It can cause physical pain too like nauseous, shaking, a jittery feeling, tingling in the hands, racing heartbeat and stomach churning among other physical symptoms.

Depending on which type of anxiety one experiences can depend on how to manage it. If you experience anxiety and it’s impacting on your experience of life, it’s time to seek out help and support for this treatable condition.

Panic Attacks

A panic attack can happen at any time you feel anxious about something happening. A panic attack is when your breathing becomes very shallow and rapid at the onset and your heart rate increases to the point where you might be wondering if it’s a heart attack. It can have a cyclic effect for some, because once you’ve had one, it can increase your worries about whether you could have another one. It can also be confronting so learning how to manage when one happens can help you reduce your worries around it happening again. Refer to the below techniques for guidance. For an effective program to help you work through your panic attacks try this one.

Generalized Anxiety

This is where anxiety is experienced in an ongoing way, It is where there is an ongoing experience of anxiety for lots of different things.

Phobias

Fear and anxiety about a specific object or situation. Examples include fear of flying, injections or spiders.

Social Anxiety

Where a person fears being embarrassed, criticized, or put down in social situations or out in public.

Support

It’s important that if you are struggling with anxiety and finding these techniques difficult to put into place on your own, you don’t have to suffer in silence. There is heaps of support to help you manage anxiety. I’ve created a list of programs that help you overcome anxiety on this post.

For access to an effective program that applies Cognitive Behaviour Therapy click on the image below.

Natural Options to Overcome Anxiety

Meditation

Incorporating meditation into your daily routine will help calm your nervous system and help your adrenaline and cortisol lower. This in turn will help lower the fight or flight response that your body thinks it’s in where you are experiencing anxiety. Meditation is a powerful tool in overcoming anxiety.

Aromatherapy

essential oils have been used for thousands of years and for a very good reason. They can help manage a wide range of issues including anxiety and stress.

Oils that help reduce anxiety include ylang ylang, lavender, rose, bergamot, german chamomile, lemon balm, clary sage, jasmine, neroli, vetiver, geranium, valerian and basil essential oils.

Having oils premixed to help with anxiety is a really helpful approach to ensure a formula that will be effective in reducing the anxiety.

Breathe

The value of breathing is huge. Even though we do it naturally, we often have shallow quick breaths instead of slow deep breathing. When our breath is shallow and fast paced, it increases our anxiety.

A useful way to practice what I call the 5, 2, release technique. Count to 5 as you breathe in, Hold for 2 seconds, Then release for as long as you need to slowly. Then take your next breath in using this same count. Do this a few times.

Notice how you feel after doing this exercise.

Be Present

The value of ‘being present’ can’t be overstated! Being present means focusing on this moment in your life. Now! The past is done, the future hasn’t happened the present is a gift.

Being out in nature can help you be present, but it’s not the only way to be present. Breathing helps you center yourself and when you focus on the movements and feeling of breathing, it brings you to the present.

Mindfulness

This is the practice of noticing the thoughts that are present in your mind. When you are aware of the thoughts, instead of fighting with the thought, trying to push it away or being negative with it, simply notice it without any extra comment towards it.

Even though the thoughts are there, you are simply noticing and being aware without judging whether it’s good or bad to have the thoughts there. There are many apps that help guide you with using mindfulness. If you struggle to find time for this strategy here’s a program that helps you incorporate and practice mindfulness for 7 minutes a day.

Grounding Strategies

Grounding helps bring you back to the present. It’s common for when you feel anxious for your thoughts to be stuck in either the future or the past. Use grounding to help bring you back to the present. Grounding strategies including practicing 5 Senses Grounding or grounding focusing on colors in your space. For instance, notice a color around you, name the item and keep looking for it for a few moments. Once you can’t find anymore, look for a different color until you notice feeling calmer.

For a detailed description of grounding techniques read my previous post.

Hypnosis

You know hypnosis is very effective and can be done using a guided hypnosis program where you are safe. It is nothing like hypnosis performed on stages for entertainment. Real hypnosis is very effective in helping one’s mind change how it responds to certain things. It can target numerous issues including insomnia, depression, motivation, and anxiety. A dear friend of mine has had very effective success in quitting smoking for instance where she did one session, and afterward, she no longer had the urge to smoke. She’s had no cravings and has not had any cigarettes since. She is an advocate for the powerful effects of hypnosis. For more information click here.

Herbal Supplements

Valerian, St John’s Wart, Ashwagandha, Lavender, Chamomile, Lemon Balm and passionflower are all herbs that can help in reducing anxiety.

Quit Sugar

Quit sugar and processed foods. For more information on this have a look at this post. Sugar has an effect on anxiety levels. It can be subtle, but after quitting sugar then having some after quitting, you might notice the anxiety is back.again or it’s stronger.

Healthy Diet

Eating a healthy diet can also help improve your ability to manage anxiety. Foods such as avocado and nuts which are nutrient-dense providing our brains with valuable magnesium, b vitamins and omega 3 which all contribute to reducing anxiety. Here’s where you can find more information on this. For help with changing to healthy eating options, you might consider developing a healthy eating plan and change your eating habits to healthier options.

Nutritional Supplementation

If you are low in certain vitamins and minerals, that can play havoc with your mental health. B complex vitamins have been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. Our brains really do benefit from improved nutrition. When we take magnesium, for instance, this helps us relax. Fish oil also helps with managing anxiety. If our blood results show a deficiency in B vitamins, this could actually contribute to anxiety and depression. Check this with your health care practitioner to find out if the anxiety you feel anxious could be due to a nutritional deficiency. For supplements that help our brains click here.

Homeopathy

Formulas such as this can help relieve symptoms common with anxiety including headaches and relieve tension.

Bowen Therapy

Bowen Therapy incorporates our body’s own energy to help it facilitate healing. It works. It incorporates gentle movements on specific areas of the body that are interconnected and uses the body’s own healing energy that is triggered by the Bowen therapy movements.

Yoga

Yoga has a calming, grounding effect on the nervous system. It encourages deep slow breathing which allows oxygen to go to the brain and throughout the body increasing feelings of relaxation. There are even specific yoga poses that help relieve anxiety. Here you will find which one’s help with anxiety.

It provides health benefits along with emotional benefits,

Self-Help Books

Personally, I’ve found that reading relevant and appropriate books have helped me learn more about the anxiety I used to experience which helped me process my thoughts and responses. A few books that help with overcoming anxiety include Rewire Your Anxious Brain, The Anxiety Toolkit, & Take Control of Your Anxiety, just to name a few. There are so many more available through Audiobooks which also offer a free trial. Having books on Audio is so convenient and can be played at any time you’re ready. Here’s an audiobook I personally recommend for anyone wanting to overcome anxiety naturally

Exercise

Exercise, in general, is also a great way to boost happy hormones. I’m not talking about running a marathon or triathlon unless you want to. It only needs to be a minimum of 15 minutes to get your body moving. Consider joining a social sport that you enjoy playing, or going for a walk around your neighborhood. Even some exercises at home can help get the blood circulating and increase your positive feelings. For more information on improving your well being through exercise read this.

Connect with Nature

Nature has a calming effect on the senses which can help you relax and be present. Other health benefits of getting outside is your body’s production of melatonin which helps you sleep at night and getting valuable vitamin D.

Summing Up

I hope this list can help give you the inspiration to know that there are ways to work through the anxiety. You’re not stuck with it for the rest of your life. Engage in proactively working through it. It’s easy to try to avoid situations that increase your anxiety, but this isn’t helpful and doesn’t address the issue, instead keeps you stuck with feeling that way. Be brave and do something that you feel comfortable doing that can help work through and alleviate the anxiety. You might need to keep a list or put a reminder in your phone to make sure you remember to do the activity you chose to help you work on overcoming the anxiety naturally.

You can do this! It is possible to reduce the anxiety in your life. It could take time, but you’ve got to start somewhere.

If you’ve found any of the above or something else has worked for you in alleviating your anxiety, I would love to hear from you. Leave your comments below.

July 2, 2019

7 Grounding Techniques to Help With Anxiety

Grounding Techniques to Help with Anxiety

Grounding is a way to bring oneself back to the present moment, the here and now. Many people can experience anxiety and thoughts that are either in the future or past. Often people who experienced trauma during childhood could have flashbacks that can make them feel like they’re back when the event happened. Here we will discuss grounding techniques to help with anxiety and bring one to the present moment.

Anxiety can also be future oriented thinking, in particular ‘what if’ thoughts which can also increase anxiety. Grounding can help with this too by focusing on the present instead of the future which hasn’t happened yet.

When experiencing anxiety and flashbacks, it’s important to focus on self care. .For ideas on managing self care, have a read through one of my other posts.

Breathe

You might notice that breathing comes up a lot as a strategy to manage big feelings. This is because when we are having strong feelings, our breathing gets faster and more shallow without us being aware of it. So we need to keep remembering to breathe. It also helps as a grounding strategy as you will soon see.

Breathing Techniques

Focussing on your breath helps ground you. This is because it makes us think about how we breathe while also making us focus on this moment. You can’t breathe a breath from the past, you can’t breathe a breath from the future, you can only breathe in the now. Hence using the breath to anchor you into the here and now.

5, 2, Release Strategy

My favourite breathing technique which has helped many of my clients is the 5, 2, release strategy.

This is where you count to 5 as you breathe in. It doesn’t have to be a deep breath, but it’s longer than a normal breath. Then hold for 2 seconds. This helps cleanse the lymphatic system, then release for as long as you need to slowly. Notice the moment between the out breath and the in breath. Then breath in again counting to 5.

If you are struggling to do 5 seconds breath in, then start with 4 and work up to 5 or longer.

The main thing to focus on here is slowing down your breathing so that it can help you relax.

While you are doing this exercise also become aware of how your body moves as you breathe in then out. Notice the temperature of the air on your nostrils as you breathe in. Then notice the temperature as you breathe out and how it’s different.

When working on breathing imagine filling up your belly like it’s a balloon as you breathe in.

Blow out the Candles

This is perfect for younger children as they have great imaginations, Thinking about candles helps them think about something else other than the thing that they’re getting worried about.

Hold your hand up in front of the child. Next, wiggle your fingers in front of them and say to the child, ‘imagine that there’s candles on your hand’ as you wiggle them. Then tell your child to blow out the candles.

Blow up a balloon.

Using imagination again, encourage your child in front of you to imagine blowing up a balloon with their hands in front of them. This encourages them to draw a big breath in and then blow out all the air.

Colors Grounding

Notice a color around you, Name the item and keep looking for more of items of the same color for a few moments. Once you can’t find any more, look for a different colour until you notice feeling calmer.

Use of Water

Wash your hands in cold water. Be aware of how the water feels on your hands as it washes over them. Take note of the temperature of the water. Notice how it feels to have the water on your hands. Notice what it looks like.
Have a shower and notice the movement of the flowing water. Notice the temperature of the water. Breathe. Notice the suds as you clean yourself. Notice the smells from the soap.

5 Senses Grounding

Notice 5 things you can see around you. Say them out loud slowly.

Then notice 4 things you can feel with your sense of touch. Say it aloud or to yourself each thing you can feel.

Next listen for 3 things you can hear.

Then notice 2 things you can either smell or taste.

Finally think of one thing you can feel grateful for.

Notice now how you feel after doing this exercise. What’s that like for you.

For a guided 5 senses grounding do a search on Youtube.

Sitting or standing

If you are sitting down, become aware of what you are sitting on. Notice how it feels under you. Notice the temperature of what you’re sitting on. What’s the texture of the seat. Is it hard or soft, smooth, fluffy, hard.

For when you are standing, notice where you are. What does it feel like under your feet. Notice the texture of the surface you are standing on. Is it smooth, dirty, soft, hard.

Be with your Pet

Pets are great companions but did you also know they can help you feel grounded when you are with them? Try this to practice grounding with your pet.

Be with your pet. Notice their features, colors texture. Listen to their sounds. Do they pur, or pant? How do they feel to touch, are they warm, cool, soft, fluffy, rough etc. Do they have a smell of some kind? What’s your favorite thing about them.

For more information about how pets can help us with our mental health, read this.

Make a Cuppa

Make yourself a drink of either a cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate.

Notice the sounds of the kettle as it boils. As you’re pouring the hot water into the mug or pot, notice the steam rising. Watch the water pour into the mug/cup/pot. Notice the smells of the drink you’re making. When you’re holding your cup or mug, wrap your hands around the mug and notice how it feels, smells. Be aware of the taste when you drink. Notice the movement of the liquid in your mug.

Final words

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and intense feelings, write a list of the techniques from above that resonate with you. Add it to your notes app on your phone or carry a list with you to remind you.of these grounding techniques to help with anxiety. Some will work sometimes, and at other times, different ones will work. The main thing is to engage in the strategies to allow them to work for you. Be kind to yourself.

Namaste