How to be in the Present Moment in a Fast-Paced World

Breathe and Be In the Present Moment

Do you ever find yourself rushing around, short of breath. Or find yourself overwhelmed randomly for no reason that you can pinpoint?

I wonder if you have ever thought of how your breath might be like during those moments.

Many times we can be super busy, and thinking about all of the things you need to do and make sure you don’t forget which takes you away from the present. This has a huge impact on how you feel. It also affects our physical well being.

Or you might find that you feel stressed or upset about a situation. What are you thinking about at that time? Be honest with yourself here. Usually your thoughts are likely to be focused on the future or the past. Unless you are feeling threatened in some way which is immediate and biologically programmed.

The value of being present can’t be emphasized enough. It has real benefits to our health, our mental well being. It is also linked with our self talk. When we engage in negative self talk, focus on the past or the future, we are not being present and giving all of our attention to this moment.

It’s possible to be in a state of calm more often than we realize.

Benefits of Slow Breathing

Lowered cortisol levels

Cortisol is related to high levels of stress. Which is handy where we are running away from some kind of threat, however when it’s ongoing these high stress levels, are not healthy for our physical systems. Our bodies are designed to respond to the stress at the time of threat, then calm down which in turn shifts the hormonal response from the fight or flight to a clamer state with sufficient dopamine, GABA, serotonin and oxytocin. When these are activate, we feel calmer and more peaceful. These hormones aren’t activated when cortisol is raised. This is why being in a state of calm is preferable for your physiological health and wellbeing.

Stabilises blood pressure and heart beat

The parasympathetic and sympathetic systems both work together with getting blood around the body. When breathing is fast it makes more blood pump around the body which isn’t a healthy way to function at the biological level. Breathing fewer breaths in a minute is more beneficial to these systems as they need to work less and allows your heart to beat less frequently and with less pressure to move the blood around.

Lowers anxiety

Simply by slowing down your breathing and bring yourself to the present moment, you shift your focus from anxiety contributing thoughts to the here and now.

Builds resilience when facing stress

By keeping present and breathing slowly, you can also be more level headed when managing increased stress. This allows one to operate with increased resilience to help get you through the stressful time. Resilience allows you to respond with less reactivity to stress with better coping strategies.

Enhances cognitive performance

When the body is tense, and functioning at a higher level of stress, the logical part of our brain is less activated. Instead the amygdala has increased control over the emotions, making the frontal lobe less responsive. By lowering your stress levels with slowed breathing and being present, it helps your frontal lobe function better so you can think more clearly and enhances cognitive performance.

Naturally relaxes your muscles

Slowing down your breathing helps your muscles relax naturally which also aids in lowering anxiety and stress and the hormone cortisol.

Link between Being Present and Mindfulness

Breathing and being in the present moment are closely linked with mindfulness. Mindfulness is a tool that can help one be focused on the present rather than allowing the thoughts that take us away from the present take over. When practicing mindfulness it can lead to lowered stress hormone cortisol. It also enhances self awareness and allows you to learn the skill of clearing your mind.

There’s many ways to practice mindfulness while being active or going about your daily activities. Here’s an example. As you make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, bring yourself to this moment by being more aware of what you are doing. We often go about doing our daily actions without any attention to what we are actually doing. So fill the kettle, press the boil button down and notice how it feels as you do this. Do you need much pressure to press it down? Next notice the steam rising as it’s nearly boiled. Also notice any condensation from the steam cooling. Not fill your cup with your choice of beverage ie coffee, tea, chocolate etc. Watch the water as it fills the cup. Notice the colours change from clear to your beverage choice.

Now notice how it changes as you add milk if you use it. Then as you drink it how does it feel on your palate? What’s the temperature. Watch the steam as it rises while you focus on your cup. when you notice any thoughts while practicing this, simply acknowledge it. That’s all. No negative responses towards the thought, just notice it and refocus back on your cup of tea/coffee beverage. What did you find happened for you while you practiced this activity? This is another way of practicing mindfulness through actions rather than sitting still and meditating.

Practicing mindfulness helps you connect with the breath and allows you to use the breath as anchor to being present.

Breathe and Be

Sometimes when we aren’t breathing calmly and slowly, we need to consciously learn how to do this to help maximise our ability to calm ourselves and be present.

As you take a breath in

notice how the air feels on your nostrils
Breathe in for 5 seconds.
Hold for 2 seconds
with your mouth slightly open breathe out for as long as you need to
notice how the air feels as you breath out
with your next breath in, follow the same process only notice how your body moves as you breathe in
be aware of your torso moving, your chest rise and fall, your stomach move out and in.
Release slowly

As you become more aware of your breathing and your body as it moves, notice how it makes you feel as you practice this purposeful breathing. This is being in the moment regardless of where you are and what you are doing.

You can do this anywhere. No one will be aware that you are practicing being present. It’s something you can take with you where ever you go.

Tips for Reminding Yourself to Breathe

I know you breath all the time right! Sure, without stating the obvious, this is correct. But have you ever noticed that when you stop and think about your breathing, you realise you haven’t been breathing slowly after all? And when you do slow your breathing down it feels really good yeah? That’s what our goal is today, to help you remember to stop and breath purposely.

A trick to help yourself remember to take a slow deep breath in is to connect it using a memory cue. A memory cue is something you link actions together.

For instance:

Every time you look at your watch or a clock, or check the time on your phone, stop for a second and take a slow breath in, hold then release.
Perhaps you look at your phone only infrequently during the day. When you do look at your phone, take in a deep breath.
Maybe you can wear a special bracelet or ring – every time you look at it, that’s when you take a slow breath in.
Every time you check your facebook/instagram/twitter account. Stop, Take a deep breath in, hold then release.

Free Guide

Remembering to be present can take practice and time. In order to help fast track this, you could consider doing a hypnosis on a regular basis to help retrain your mind. Hypnosis helps by guiding you through a relaxation process then gives you subconscious messages. As we usually function using only 5-10% of our brains it’s harder to consciously remember everything we need to do. Enter hypnosis which communicates directly to the subconscious. You can incorporate as an additional strategy to help relieve anxiety, stress and slow down your breathing.

Here’s a free guide to focus on slowing down your breathing.

Final Words

So if you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, worried, or scared about something that’s going on for you, do yourself a favor and check in to what your breath is doing. Notice if it is fast or if it could be slower. Even if you think it is slow, make a conscious choice to slow it down.

If you can do this on a regular basis, who knows how much better you will feel and build on your resilience while having extra coping strategies to manage your responses to stress.

If you found this helpful or have experience in the benefits of being present share your comments below.

July 29, 2019July 30, 2019

Can Hypnosis Help with Anxiety and Other Issues – Hypnosis for Life

Hypnosis – How it Can Help Anxiety and Life’s Ups and Downs

What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘hypnosis’? Do you imagine a stage with people doing crazy things like clucking like a chicken? I’m sure many of us have seen or heard of how this can happen with hypnosis. Although this can be entertaining, it can also put people off the idea of using hypnosis as a possible strategy to overcome things such as anxiety. The big question for many people like yourself is can hypnosis help with anxiety? As you will see, it can help you manage anxiety as well as a wide range of issues that you didn’t realise! Below we will be looking at what can hypnosis help with to see how it might improve and make you life easier to live.

Let’s differentiate between hypnosis for entertainment vs hypnosis for overcoming a wide range of issues. The entertainment hypnosis is purely for entertainment. The individuals are chosen before a show and given a pre-hypnosis meditation to help them overcome being in front of a crowd and be more susceptible to being hypnotised on the stage.

Whereas therapeutic hypnosis is a very powerful deep relaxation technique that can shift the way you think and respond to problems in your life.

‘If you want a different outer world you have to change your inner world’ ~ Steve G Jones Renowned Hypnotherapist

Subconscious Limits

Subconscious limits are what holds us back in growth in many areas of our lives. These might come from our early childhood or events that shape us as we respond to our daily lives. Usually we aren’t even aware of many pf these subconscious thoughts, let alone how they are influencing our current situation.

There are a number of techniques that can help one shift these subconscious beliefs. They include Neuro Linguistic Programming, Emotional Freedom Technique also known as Tapping, binaural beats and subliminal messages. For the purpose of this post the focus here is hypnosis.

Shift long held beliefs from the past and reset those to renewed and improved beliefs that will improve your world.

Brain Plasticity

The brain never stops learning and changing as a response to that learning. Allows you to reprogram your brain. It’s not will power. but it’s about reprogramming how you think and apply what you think to change how things are for you.

Our brain is programmed to keep you in your comfort zone so as not to use the fight and flight system. This is where changing your mindset comes in so you can let go of your brain’s tendency to keep things safe and comfortable. When we do something different, and give our brains new information, this creates new neural pathways and keeps the brain’s plasticity. This is where hypnosis comes in. By giving the brain new information and changing the subconscious limiting beliefs, our brain’s neural pathways are created and enhanced.

Hypnosis Categories

Anxiety and Depression

If you’ve found yourself on this page, you may be struggling with depression or anxiety of some kind. Anxiety is an emotional response to a stimulus such as public speaking, spiders or more generalised such as worrying thoughts in an ongoing way. Anxiety is increasingly becoming a concern for approx 40 million US adults according to the American Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Of those who experience anxiety, only approx 36% seek out professional help. And that’s not taking into account the rest of the world. So with it’s incidence rising, it’s important to find ways to manage this condition. It can be overcome with active practice of a combination of strategies. Talk therapy is beneficial, but for those who find they either don’t have time, or the finances to receive therapy, it can help to incorporate self therapy including hypnosis. For online programs for extra support see this post.

Anxiety

Treat Depression Hypnosis

Overcoming Health Anxiety Hypnosis

Manage Panic Attacks Hypnosis

Breathe Hypnosis

Learn To Relax Hypnosis

Dealing With Bipolar Hypnosis

Remove Tension And Stress Hypnosis

Coping With Holiday Stress Hypnosis

Wealth Creation

You might be wondering how can hypnosis help increase one’s wealth creation. Many of our every actions contribute to our current life situation, including our financial status. Through messages and experiences that our parents may have had, this influences the choices we make now. Maybe your parents didn’t have much money so they taught you many beliefs about money which continue to influence your choices around money. Through the application of hypnosis, you can unblock these subconscious blocks to help release your beliefs around money and wealth.

We all have a set of ideas and perceptions of ourselves including stories and messages we’ve told ourselves as well as what we were told over the years. All of these messages culminate into programming our subconscious beliefs leading to your current financial state. If you need to shift these subconscious beliefs and change your mindset, do a hypnosis that can help you change your day to day activities allowing you to make wealth creating choices and overcome a negative image of yourself leading towards a more resilient can-do attitude.

Attract Wealth Hypnosis

Wealth Abundance Hypnosis

Overcome Fear Of Prosperity Hypnosis

Addictions

Addictions can be all consuming and not only affects the individual but also affects family and friends. As well as feeling a low self esteem which is where the addiction stems from, it can also affect social connections and mental health. By working through the subconscious beliefs around the addiction, one may be able to recover from an addiction. Practising the hypnosis on a frequent basis can help the mindset and subconscious beliefs shift to making healthier choices.

Quit Smoking Hypnosis

Quit Drinking Hypnosis

Beat Chocolate Addiction Hypnosis

Quit Caffeine Hypnosis

Overcome Spending Addiction Hypnosis

Stop Chewing Tobacco Hypnosis

Issues with Food

Hypnosis can also help to manage weight and various issues with food. Over time, many develop a connection between eating and their emotions, using food as a way of coping. Sometimes this can be taught by well meaning family members without realising this is the outcome. It might be that you’ve developed an addiction to sugar or carbs, so there is also hypnosis to help overcome these too.

Anorexia and Bulimia are also linked with anxiety and wanting to control aspects of one’s life when an individual feels out of control. Food becomes the one thing that can be controlled. This can be a very extreme and dangerous way of coping which needs to be addressed. If you know anyone with these issues, it can also help to incorporate hypnosis as part of the treatment to help shift underlying beliefs around food restriction and body image.

Overcome Anorexia Hypnosis

Recover From Bulimia Hypnosis

Help Diabetes Hypnosis

Give Up Carbs Hypnosis

Speed Up Metabolism Hypnosis

Eat Mindfully Hypnosis

Beat Sugar Cravings Hypnosis

Lose Weight Hypnosis

Find the Right Partner

Although this sounds like it might be unlikely, I’ll admit that when I was single after my first relationship ended, I decided to create a list with details of the type of person I wanted to attract into my life. This included a list with various details that I wasn’t willing to compromise on. I ensured I thought of all of the things I didn’t want in a partner and all of the things I wanted in a partner. I meditated on this and let it go to the universe. Within a few months, I met my soon to be husband and we have been together ever since. I truly believe that this is because I had created this list, meditated and allowed the universe to create this for my world.

For a little extra help with this, you might consider doing some hypnosis to help you reprogram how you think about yourself and what you want from a partner.

Dating Success Hypnosis

Sleep

Sleep can be very difficult when thoughts are running all over the place. Or there may be other reasons for not being able to get to sleep. For whatever reason, insomnia can be very frustrating and can have a negative impact on how you feel as well as struggle to function in daily activities. So if you are struggling with getting a good night’s sleep or even simply getting to sleep, try a sleep hypnosis.

Treat Insomnia Hypnosis

Power Sleep Hypnosis

Specific Phobias

Phobias can hold us back and make us avoid situations due to the intense fear one has around the phobia. Phobias can develop from a wide variety of triggers. No matter what the phobia is, when it impacts one’s movements and makes one change what they do out of fear of the object or phobia being present, then it could be time to get help with overcoming that phobia.

Reach your Own Potential

Additionally, there are even more hypnosis options available in the list below.

Health & Wellbeing

Relieve Allergy Symptoms Hypnosis

Become A Better Runner Hypnosis

Boost Your Energy Hypnosis

Boost Your Immune System Hypnosis

Breast Enhancement Hypnosis

Dealing With Overactive Bladder Hypnosis

Overcoming Psoriasis Hypnosis

Managing Menopause Hypnosis

Drink Water Hypnosis

Ease Acid Reflux Hypnosis

Relieve Morning Sickness Hypnosis

Exercise Motivation Hypnosis

Clear Complexion Hypnosis

Gain Muscle Mass Hypnosis

Manage Herpes Hypnosis

Treat Balding Hypnosis

Boost Fertility Hypnosis

Better Joint Health Hypnosis

Improve Your Eyesight Hypnosis

Posture Correction Hypnosis

Living With IBS Hypnosis

Lower Blood Pressure Hypnosis

Improve Your Cholesterol Hypnosis

Manage ADHD Hypnosis

Managing Cancer Pain Hypnosis

Natural Childbirth Hypnosis

Get Over Shame Hypnosis

Pain Relief Hypnosis

Alzheimer’s Prevention Hypnosis

Quit Biting Nails Hypnosis

Recover From Surgery Hypnosis

Alleviate Period Cramps Hypnosis

Relieve Migraines Hypnosis

Reverse Aging Hypnosis

Before Surgery Hypnosis

Young At Heart Hypnosis

Stop Bed Wetting Hypnosis

Stop Night Terrors Hypnosis

Snoring Hypnosis

Stop Grinding Teeth Hypnosis

Mindset

Learn To Love Yourself Hypnosis

Develop Charisma Hypnosis

Reconnect With Inner Child Hypnosis

Love Housework Hypnosis

Motivation And Success Hypnosis

Here And Now Hypnosis

Master Meditation Hypnosis

Quit Compulsive Lying Hypnosis

Summing Up

It is my goal to show you that no matter what the issue, be it anxiety, phobias, depression, mindset, snoring or whatever, there could be a hypnosis to help you overcome the issue stemming from the subconscious beliefs.

If you’ve had any experience with hypnosis I would love to hear from you. Share your thoughts below in the comments.

July 23, 2019July 24, 2019

Foods That Help With Anxiety and Depression

Nourish your Body to Reduce Anxiety and Depression

The idea that anxiety and depression could be linked to the foods we eat might be considered strange. You might be wondering how can foods help with how we feel emotionally? Working through and beating anxiety and depression isn’t only done through seeing your therapist or taking medication. If you’ve found that you are still struggling despite your best efforts with engaging in therapy and taking medication, maybe it’s time to look at what you’re putting inside your body. There is growing scientific evidence to show what we eat can influence how we feel. So let’s look at foods that help with anxiety and depression specifically.

Please note however that eating the right foods alone may not necessarily improve your anxiety and depression. Improving one’s mental health usually takes multiple strategies and actions.

Nutritional deficiencies can alter the brain chemistry and the formation neurotransmitters which can affect moods such as anxiety and depression.

So it can help to look into foods that can support the brain so let’s take a look below.

What is Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety is where one feels a heightened nervousness, worry, and fears that can either be acute or ongoing. It can be debilitating for some while for others, it depends on the situation. Often one’s thoughts are focused with a future orientation. Some thoughts will often start with ‘what if’ and many think of things that haven’t happened yet, but these thoughts contribute to anxiety. It is a very common condition that can be treated through either medication, talk therapy or nutrition. A combination is usually most effective rather than medication alone.

Depression is a mental health issue where one feels ongoing sadness for over 6 months continuously. It can lead to loss of interest in usual activities, increased sleep. Find it hard to get out of bed. Can lead to individuals not wanting to engage in social interactions. Many find that ongoing ruminating negative thoughts contribute to how this condition can evolve and develop.

Links between Physical and Mental Health

Our gut health is vital in being able to utilize the nutrients that we put into our body. The gut is now considered to be the second brain of our body. Since it’s where we get all foods digested and then used by our organs, including out brain, it’s essential to put into our body nourishing nutritious foods.

Gut health needs to be balanced with 80% good bacteria and 20% bad bacteria. Our gut health can get out of balance if we take antibiotics, or eat foods that are processed such as take away and sugary sweet foods.

Fibre also helps in the digestion process helping maintain the 80/20 ratio balance for our gut which has also been linked to improved gut health and better mood.

Hormones Involved in Mood

You may have heard of happy hormones, but what are they exactly? Our bodies function with the production and effective use of hormones. When our hormones are being produced optimally, our general well being increases too. The hormones that we need in order to feel good include oxytocin, GABA – or gamma-aminobutyric acid, dopamine and serotonin. Studies show that when these hormones are depleted or low, an individual reports higher anxiety and depression.

Impact of Inflammation

If we are eating a diet high in processed foods with trans fats and processed polyunsaturated fats, our body becomes inflamed. When our bodies are under stress in cases such as inflammation, some hormones don’t work well such as insulin. This leads to health conditions such as Type 2 Diabetes. This can be prevented by eating foods that are real, not processed, and nutrient dense. If our bodies are being inflamed, we experience a wide range of health conditions as well as mental health concerns. Our brains too can be affected by inflammation which is in turn affects our mental health. So in an effort to reduce inflammation, it’s important to ensure the body receives what it needs to allow it to heal including antioxidants, vitamins and minerals, and nutrition.

A low carb high healthy fat diet is recommended in reducing inflammation in the body. When inflammation is reduced, our organs function better which lead to our hormones responding better and working more efficiently. This is how important reducing inflammation is to allow our brains to work well and lower the incidence of anxiety and depression. As mentioned earlier, anxiety and depression is higher in those who aren’t producing the neurotransmitters that are created from hormones such as serotonin, dopamine, GABA and oxytocin. Hence the importance of having a diet high in nutrient dense foods, and low in processed, unhealthy fats.

Nutrients that Decrease Anxiety and Depression

There are a number of important nutrients that help build and promote neurotransmitters that are required for reducing anxiety and depression.

These are listed below:

Magnesium
B vitamins
Vitamin D also aids in promoting calming neurotransmitters which help reduce anxiety
Omega 3
Folate
Selenium
Tryptophan is an amino acid that helps produce serotonin in the brain.
Antioxidants also help with boosting ones mood and helping lower levels of depression and anxiety.

Foods That Help with Anxiety and Depression

Animal Products:

Fish – specifically salmon, mackerel, sardines, trout are all high in omega 3 which is important for our brains to function properly.
Meat including beef and chicken, turkey
Eggs

Fruits and Vegetables

Asparagus
Avocados – as they are high in magnesium and vitamin B6 which both help with anxiety.
Blueberries are also high in antioxidants which can also increase serotonin
Kale
Mushrooms
Bell Peppers
Strawberries

Nuts and Seeds

Almonds are high in Vitamin E
Walnuts – high in Omega 3 which is good for the brain
Brazil Nuts – high in Selenium
Cashew – for zinc which also helps lower anxiety.
Chia seeds – high in Omega 3 (benefits the brain)
Sunflower seeds
Pumpkin seeds – contain high magnesium and potassium

Herbs and Spices

Chamomile – contains antioxidants which contribute to reducing inflammation that helps manage anxiety and depression levels.
Turmeric – also known as Curcumin which helps brain health. It too is an antioxidant and anit-inflammatory

Healthy Fats

Hemp seed oil – due to it’s fatty acid content, polyphenols and anti-inflammatory properties.
Flaxseed oil – also due to it’s omega 3, and is anti-inflammatory.

Dark Chocolate

Low or sugar free

It improves brain health and allows the brain to adapt to stressful situations. It has been shown to increase levels of serotonin. You do not need to eat much of this to gain the nutritional benefits!

Probiotics

Yoghurt,
Sauerkraut,
Miso,
Tempeh
Kefir and
Some cheeses

These all contain probiotics which also help decrease anxiety and depression too.

They feed the good bacteria in your gut which helps your body digest all those nutrients you are feeding it.

Drinks

Green Tea – as it contains polyphenols, antioxidants and L-theanine which has been shown to reduce anxiety. L- theanine also helps increase dopamine, serotonin and GABA.
Water – studies have shown that mild dehydration can contribute to increased mood problems. So keep hydrated.
Chamomile tea and herbal teas in general. Excluding Ginseng as this increases anxiety.
Kava Kava

Supplements

If you are struggling to consume the variety of the above foods, it can also help to use herbal supplements. You won’t likely need to take supplements if you are eating a wide range of the foods listed here. However if you are time poor or not able to have the variety for some reason, consider taking supplements as a way to support your mood and body to ensure you can reduce your levels of anxiety and depression.

The Natural Approach

As a way to combine strategies that help you lower your experience of anxiety, you can also consider doing things listed in a previous post which tackle anxiety naturally. This includes meditation and yoga. Also consider that you are meeting the 4 pillars of wellbeing to allow you to manage the anxiety and depression. When at least one of these pillars aren’t being met sufficiently, it’s really hard for the rest of your body to function optimally.

The 4 Pillars of Wellbeing include

a good sleep routine
nutritious food choices
movement of some kind
social network

Support Options

If you have been dealing with anxiety or depression alone without any support, it’s okay to ask for help and find someone who can help you through this. Talking through problems can really make a big difference. It’s cathartic and can help you get out of your head and hear it outside of yourself rather than the ongoing inner cycle that can happen.

I recommend Online-Therapy for US residents.

Or alternatively, you can consider doing a counselling program online that is the equivalent to 8 sessions of counselling in one program.

Another option is to do the work on your own with the Self-therapy Journey that I have written about on this post.

Final Words

You’re not alone in your experience of anxiety and depression. Many people suffer these sometimes debilitating mental health issues. Know that there are ways to work through the challenges you are facing. There can be many options available for you. consider what your body is getting nutritionally as this can help your body produce the neurotransmitters required for improved mood.

To lower your anxiety and depression, work towards including the list of foods above. You may also need to engage in doing the strategies that help with managing these moods. No one can make it go away for you. It requires you to acknowledge the problem and work on shifting it so it has less of an impact on you.

Consider your food habits and lifestyle and choose sugar free, unprocessed, whole, real foods.

In particular consume the foods listed here to help your brain do its job with lowered inflammation. This in turn will help your brain produce the necessary neurotransmitters that increase serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and GABA.

July 21, 2019July 21, 2019

Review of Self-Therapy Journey – Can it Help

Self-Therapy Journey Review

Self Therapy

In broad terms, self therapy refers to therapeutically working on one’s own personal issues without the intervention of a therapist. We all have a tendency to consider our interpersonal interactions, how we might appear to others, how we are affected by experiences. This all involves our own reflection and consideration of what’s going on for us. When we want to look further into this, find out more about ourselves, this is call self help. Self therapy looks at how we might work through our own stuff without the intervention of a professional. Here I review the self therapy journey program and if it has the ability to help one work on their own issues.

Program Overview

An interactive online tool that helps one to work through personal issues that may have developed at some point in your life that now has an impact on your life in some way. It also allows for developing a certain healthy capacity resulting in personal growth and emotional transformation. It is not intended to replace therapy or counselling. Instead think of it as a set of sophisticated self help books, guided meditations and customized reports.

It can also be used in conjunction with professional support.

Created by

This program is created by a psychologist called Jay Earley PhD that he has also collaborated with his wife and professional partner Bonnie. Bonnie Weiss herself is an IFS therapist.

The theory that this program is based on is Pattern Systems and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). A lot of work has gone into creating this online self therapy program with testing, feedback and tweaking to ensure it works to help people understand their deep healing and transformation.

Many years of scientific research has gone into each particular system to understand the patterns of each issue to help develop and create an effective system for working on those issues. Jay and his partner Bonnie have also written numerous books including, Freedom from Your Inner Critic and Activating Your Inner Champion Instead of Your Inner Critic. Another book he has written involves working on relationship patterns called Conflict, Care, and Love.

Program Details

This program is valuable and insightful that has self-therapy journey for a range of various issues.

You can either choose to work on improving a healthy capacity, work on a particular psychological issue or develop increased awareness around patterns that you may have developed.

The program is based on language which refers to Patterns that are common for individuals to experience. Capacities are also discussed which describes personal development such as assertiveness. It also includes relevant guided meditations.

Pattern System

The pattern system works on a systematic way of understanding the psychology behind your issues.

The self-therapy journey recognises that when we struggle with particular issues, we have created a pattern of behaviour that we continue which affects our interactions, How we feel in response to the negative patterns affects how we interact and engage in our world so the cycle continues. If we don’t interrupt this pattern, then those issues and patterns will continue to contribute to the issue continuing and having a negative impact on us. This program allows you to explore the pattern in detail to help you understand where it has come from and what you have been doing that has caused the emotional pain.

Through this program you are able to identify the issues you want to work on, recognise the pattern you have developed, then work towards your capacity to change those patterns.

The various patterns that are available to work through include:

Procrastination
Shyness
Anger
Inner Critic
Perfectionism
Depression
Eating Issues
Fear of conflict
People-pleasing
Fear of conflict
Lack of Intimacy
Lack of confidence
Low self esteem
Perfectionism
Playing the victim
Passive-Aggressive

These could even be confronting to see them as possible issues for you. If you feel you can relate to any of these, it’s okay to acknowledge that within yourself. Ask yourself how does this affect your interactions in your world? Is it something you feel you could work on and find a way to develop a new capacity to be able to overcome and conquer this issue? If you answered yes to these, then click on this link to get access to the issue that’s right for you.

By learning about your patterns, you will gain insight into your psyche and discover:

Your strengths
Your defenses
What drives your behavior
Why you feel bad about yourself
Your underlying emotional pain
How you compensate for that
Your inner conflicts
The leading edge of your growth

Capacities

The program also helps one work on improving an individual’s capacity. This means that it’s to help foster personal growth and development by working towards improvements in certain areas of your life.

Capacities include:

Assertiveness
Self Esteem
Self Care
Intimacy
Good Communication
Social Confidence

If you are wanting to improve any of these areas in your life, Self-Therapy can help you with this.

Quizzes

Many of us are curious about our inner workings, so it can help to find out more through doing a quiz. The Self-Therapy Journey site has a number of quizzes that you can do to find out more about yourself. Click on the link below that relates to you (if any). Always be cautious of how much information you get from doing a quiz and use only as a guide.

Program Costs

To start there is a 14 day free trial. After this, it’s $30/month subscription which is renewed after every month. This is for the Change Level. It gives you everything except the childhood origins of your patterns. If you want to work on the childhood origins of your patterns this will cost $40 per month.

The value in this is that it costs less than a monthly visit with a therapist while also having convenient, interactive online access to work through particular issues that are most relevant to you. Billing is in US Dollars.

There are also various books and bundles you can also purchase from the shop.

Who can Access

It is available internationally to anyone who is interested in working through issues listed as a pattern or capacity through the program.

Access from your own home, at your own pace, in your own timeframe.

This is also a useful program for professionals to refer to the program as a way to support their clients.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Benefits those with limited time to access face to face supports
Do at your own pace
Affordable compared with one on one therapist
Can work on a number of issues if you know what they are
Interactive online access
No lock in contracts, can be stopped at any time you choose.

Cons:

You may not be sure which issue you need to work on
If you experience more intense mental health issues, this may not be for you
Less personal interaction so unable to talk through a particular problem
Requires fairly good personal reflection

Don’t be too Proud

When you are struggling with any particular issue in your world it’s hard to manage it on your own. Sometimes it feels like you’re getting nowhere even though you have been reflecting on it, trying to understand where it’s coming from for a long time. It’s hard to do this on your own.

So many people have so many different ideas, and ways of doing things, It can actually be helpful to look beyond yourself and get ideas from elsewhere. I know when I’m working as a therapist, even though I feel like I’m doing a good job, it’s also helpful to broaden my professional reading, transcripts etc to learn of alternatives and strategies. This goes also with personal work with the problems you face. You don’t have to do this on your own, and in fact it’s a bit arrogant to think that your way is the only way to do things.

How much experience have you had in that particular issue that you’re struggling with? Have you learnt skills in how to cope with it? Life is full of surprises and can really throw a curveball when you least expect it. It’s okay to ask for help. Even if that’s working through it on your own with guidance. That’s where doing Self-Therapy can be of value and benefit.

What’s the Verdict – Do I recommend?

Yes, I definitely do recommend this program. I think it has a very solid foundation with very professional research developed by Dr Jay Earley creating an effective transformational program. It helps an individual develop valuable insights into their patterns, while helping create new capacities from the comfort of your own home.

For anyone who wants to engage in the reading and learning and do the work. No one can fix you and make you better without you doing the work through your issues.

If you want to improve your psychological health and overcome negative patterns that are holding you back in your relationships with others or yourself, consider prioritising you.

Get started and create transformational personal growth.

Further Support

Although I am comfortable referring to this program, if you are experiencing intense mental health issues that you are struggling to manage on your own, I encourage you to either contact a relevant helpline in your country or see a therapist face to face for additional support. If you are located in the US, you have access to other online counselling therapy services through Online-Therapy. You can also visit my post on where to go for further online support.

Leave comments below if you have had any experience with Self-Therapy Journey yourself.

July 11, 2019July 11, 2019

Self Soothing Techniques – shift uncomfortable feelings

Self Soothing Techniques

Self soothing techniques can be helpful if you’re experiencing high anxiety or strong negative feelings. It’s also a useful technique for anyone who wants to shift how they feel. It’s gentle and helps redirect the thoughts where the emotions may have come from. Life happens, as we all know, but sometimes, feelings happen which can be difficult to sit with, so if you need some extra tools to allow the feelings to sit with you, these self soothing techniques can come in useful.

This is a strategy used by many therapists to help someone who is experiencing high anxiety, or overwhelming feelings to engage to bring them back down to a calmer state. For some people, there is a lower tolerance to stress so they have a heightened experience of negative feelings in response to this lower tolerance. This can wreak havoc on one’s senses, emotions and behaviours.

It’s a technique drawn from Dialectical Behaviour therapy designed to manage what’s known as Distress Tolerance. It can also help anyone who experiences negative feelings and struggling to sit with those feelings. It can be hard to sit with feelings when they’re uncomfortable. Being human means we come with a wide range of emotions. That means sometimes when life happens, we might feel these not so good feelings. When that happens and it’s hard to shift them, put some of these strategies in place as a way to help you shift those feelings, while finding a way to accept them being there.

For those who experience these negative feelings, it helps to recognise and accept that sometimes you will feel some negative and not so good feelings. It’s normal to experience uncomfortable feelings sometimes, and reassure yourself that it’s okay. Accept that there will be times when you feel uncomfortable, and can’t change the situation. To help you work through these times, practice using these self soothing techniques.

Use of Senses

When applying self soothing techniques, you use your senses to help you focus on something else. This has a nurturing effect on your soul.

Sight

Have a look around you and notice things in your space. In particular, look for things that appeal to you.

Print out a picture that helps you feel comfortable and calm.

Reading a positive quote can also work, here’s a highly regarded program to get you started.

Other ideas include:

Think about your favorite colour. Even if you can’t see it, think about how it looks and picture it in your mind.
What is your favorite flower? Visualise how this might look to you. Notice what color they are, it’s shape, which environment does it look it’s best etc.
Look at favorite artwork or photo.
Find a mandala to focus on that you enjoy.
Read poetry or a feel good story

Sound

Think about something you enjoy hearing the sounds of. It’s about things that make you feel happy and calm. Do a search, or have already saved on your device your favorite sounds.

Examples of use of sound for self soothing

Sounds of nature such as waves at the beach
sounds of the rainforest
Waterfall
A baby laughing
Music – favourite songs,
Play an instrument or listen to classical music
Listen to birds
The sound of bubbles in a fish tank
Movement of water in a stream
The sound of rain on the roof

Touch

Give someone a hug. This helps your brain release oxytocin which is higher in women. It is also released simply being near someone. When oxytocin is released, it helps reduce blood pressure, and the stress hormone norepinephrine. Which in turn will help you shift how you feel through this shift in hormones released. You can even give yourself a hug. The body simply senses the touch, not who’s doing it, so hugging yourself is okay too and can have a calming effect.

Other ideas include:

Get a massage as this is also shown to help boost happy hormones. Read more about this here.
Hug or hold your pet. Pets have a very effective way of helping us ground ourselves. Notice how they feel, their texture, temperature, movements etc. I’ve also written a post about how having a pet can help us manage our emotions here.
Put on moisturiser or body oil and notice how it feels as you apply it.
Find a soft fluffy blanket to snuggle with and wrap around you for comfort.
Sink your feet into the sand at the beach or the grass and connect with nature.
Sit in a spa or pool and feel the water movement around you.

Smell

What is your favorite smell? See if you can have it on hand for times when you need to self soothe and manage how you feel using this technique. Having some essential oils can be really handy to help you have ready for times when you need to practice some self soothing techniques.

Smells you might like to have access to are

roses and flowers
essential oils such as lavender, vanilla, geranium which are all calming and relaxing oils used to calm the mind.
smell of the beach, perhaps go for a drive or trip to the beach if it’s nearby to give you the chance to smell the sea air.
rainforests also have a fresh, calming smell of their own
the fresh smell of cut grass (for those not allergic to grass anyway)
the smell of baking a cake is also calming
the smell of chocolate

Taste

Our taste buds can also be helpful in shifting our focus on the emotional aspects of our current experience, Here you might want to consider tasting something you enjoy. Be mindful not to over indulge especially in sugary or processed foods. If you are prone to comfort eating, avoid this strategy and try one of the ones above or focus on the healthy options such as tea or coffee.

Examples include:

a hot cup of tea, coffee or chocolate
the taste of something that’s vanilla as vanilla has a calming effect. My personal favorite is keto vanilla custard
chocolate is also a popular taste. Just don’t over indulge as you might feel worse for it.
a nice herbal tea and notice the tastes of the herbs used in it. This might include berries, chamomile, citrus flavors.
Green tea has also been shown to lower anxiety and have a calming effect due to its antioxidants, and polyphenols that are contained in the leaves of the tea. So enjoy the taste and get some relaxation in the process.
Enjoy your favorite meal or try some new tastes and focus on it.

Support with Self Soothing

To have some brightly coloured reminders for your phone or to print out for yourself, click on the link below.

Final words

I hope this can help manage feelings when they become overwhelming and you find yourself struggling to keep calm from so many emotions.

When we use our senses it can trick our brains so we focus on something else. It also allows our brains to use other parts that don’t require thinking by using the senses instead. Keep this in mind for if you are prone to stressful situations, or have been having a hard time. We can’t always control how we respond emotionally to a situation, but we can self soothe to give us comfort to help us get through the challenges life might throw at us.

July 7, 2019December 11, 2019

How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally

Managing Anxiety – How to Overcome Anxiety Naturally

Anxiety is an unwelcome emotion experienced by many people across the world. It can be hard to live with when you haven’t learnt where it comes from and how to manage it. I aim to share some tips for managing anxiety and look at how to overcome anxiety naturally so that you can work through this feeling when it happens.

Anyone who knows what anxiety is, knows the challenge in trying to manage it on their own. It’s something that has been increasing over time with estimates of 40 million people in the US alone. It is treatable, but only approx 10% of people reach out for support.

In a nutshell, it has thoughts that are focused in the future or triggered from the past. This means that when we experience anxiety, it’s usually the result of the direction of your thoughts. Thoughts are often focusing on things that haven’t happened yet, or the worry of what could happen. These are ‘what if’ thoughts.

It is based around fear and a sense of not feeling safe in some way. It’s connected with our physiology through the fight and flight system.

Anxiety can be treated with medication however it’s not the only way to help you manage anxiety.

Medication is usually what the GP will prescribe, however it’s not the only option and can be managed without medication naturally. Do not suddenly go off prescribed medication without discussing this first with your doctor.

Different Types of Anxiety.

One can be triggered by something, and when this happens it can be very difficult to silence the ongoing thoughts as a result. Sending one into a spiral of thoughts that keep hammering our insides. It can cause physical pain too like nauseous, shaking, a jittery feeling, tingling in the hands, racing heartbeat and stomach churning among other physical symptoms.

Depending on which type of anxiety one experiences can depend on how to manage it. If you experience anxiety and it’s impacting on your experience of life, it’s time to seek out help and support for this treatable condition.

Panic Attacks

A panic attack can happen at any time you feel anxious about something happening. A panic attack is when your breathing becomes very shallow and rapid at the onset and your heart rate increases to the point where you might be wondering if it’s a heart attack. It can have a cyclic effect for some, because once you’ve had one, it can increase your worries about whether you could have another one. It can also be confronting so learning how to manage when one happens can help you reduce your worries around it happening again. Refer to the below techniques for guidance. For an effective program to help you work through your panic attacks try this one.

Generalized Anxiety

This is where anxiety is experienced in an ongoing way, It is where there is an ongoing experience of anxiety for lots of different things.

Phobias

Fear and anxiety about a specific object or situation. Examples include fear of flying, injections or spiders.

Social Anxiety

Where a person fears being embarrassed, criticized, or put down in social situations or out in public.

Support

It’s important that if you are struggling with anxiety and finding these techniques difficult to put into place on your own, you don’t have to suffer in silence. There is heaps of support to help you manage anxiety. I’ve created a list of programs that help you overcome anxiety on this post.

For access to an effective program that applies Cognitive Behaviour Therapy click on the image below.

Natural Options to Overcome Anxiety

Meditation

Incorporating meditation into your daily routine will help calm your nervous system and help your adrenaline and cortisol lower. This in turn will help lower the fight or flight response that your body thinks it’s in where you are experiencing anxiety. Meditation is a powerful tool in overcoming anxiety.

Aromatherapy

essential oils have been used for thousands of years and for a very good reason. They can help manage a wide range of issues including anxiety and stress.

Oils that help reduce anxiety include ylang ylang, lavender, rose, bergamot, german chamomile, lemon balm, clary sage, jasmine, neroli, vetiver, geranium, valerian and basil essential oils.

Having oils premixed to help with anxiety is a really helpful approach to ensure a formula that will be effective in reducing the anxiety.

Breathe

The value of breathing is huge. Even though we do it naturally, we often have shallow quick breaths instead of slow deep breathing. When our breath is shallow and fast paced, it increases our anxiety.

A useful way to practice what I call the 5, 2, release technique. Count to 5 as you breathe in, Hold for 2 seconds, Then release for as long as you need to slowly. Then take your next breath in using this same count. Do this a few times.

Notice how you feel after doing this exercise.

Be Present

The value of ‘being present’ can’t be overstated! Being present means focusing on this moment in your life. Now! The past is done, the future hasn’t happened the present is a gift.

Being out in nature can help you be present, but it’s not the only way to be present. Breathing helps you center yourself and when you focus on the movements and feeling of breathing, it brings you to the present.

Mindfulness

This is the practice of noticing the thoughts that are present in your mind. When you are aware of the thoughts, instead of fighting with the thought, trying to push it away or being negative with it, simply notice it without any extra comment towards it.

Even though the thoughts are there, you are simply noticing and being aware without judging whether it’s good or bad to have the thoughts there. There are many apps that help guide you with using mindfulness. If you struggle to find time for this strategy here’s a program that helps you incorporate and practice mindfulness for 7 minutes a day.

Grounding Strategies

Grounding helps bring you back to the present. It’s common for when you feel anxious for your thoughts to be stuck in either the future or the past. Use grounding to help bring you back to the present. Grounding strategies including practicing 5 Senses Grounding or grounding focusing on colors in your space. For instance, notice a color around you, name the item and keep looking for it for a few moments. Once you can’t find anymore, look for a different color until you notice feeling calmer.

For a detailed description of grounding techniques read my previous post.

Hypnosis

You know hypnosis is very effective and can be done using a guided hypnosis program where you are safe. It is nothing like hypnosis performed on stages for entertainment. Real hypnosis is very effective in helping one’s mind change how it responds to certain things. It can target numerous issues including insomnia, depression, motivation, and anxiety. A dear friend of mine has had very effective success in quitting smoking for instance where she did one session, and afterward, she no longer had the urge to smoke. She’s had no cravings and has not had any cigarettes since. She is an advocate for the powerful effects of hypnosis. For more information click here.

Herbal Supplements

Valerian, St John’s Wart, Ashwagandha, Lavender, Chamomile, Lemon Balm and passionflower are all herbs that can help in reducing anxiety.

Quit Sugar

Quit sugar and processed foods. For more information on this have a look at this post. Sugar has an effect on anxiety levels. It can be subtle, but after quitting sugar then having some after quitting, you might notice the anxiety is back.again or it’s stronger.

Healthy Diet

Eating a healthy diet can also help improve your ability to manage anxiety. Foods such as avocado and nuts which are nutrient-dense providing our brains with valuable magnesium, b vitamins and omega 3 which all contribute to reducing anxiety. Here’s where you can find more information on this. For help with changing to healthy eating options, you might consider developing a healthy eating plan and change your eating habits to healthier options.

Nutritional Supplementation

If you are low in certain vitamins and minerals, that can play havoc with your mental health. B complex vitamins have been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. Our brains really do benefit from improved nutrition. When we take magnesium, for instance, this helps us relax. Fish oil also helps with managing anxiety. If our blood results show a deficiency in B vitamins, this could actually contribute to anxiety and depression. Check this with your health care practitioner to find out if the anxiety you feel anxious could be due to a nutritional deficiency. For supplements that help our brains click here.

Homeopathy

Formulas such as this can help relieve symptoms common with anxiety including headaches and relieve tension.

Bowen Therapy

Bowen Therapy incorporates our body’s own energy to help it facilitate healing. It works. It incorporates gentle movements on specific areas of the body that are interconnected and uses the body’s own healing energy that is triggered by the Bowen therapy movements.

Yoga

Yoga has a calming, grounding effect on the nervous system. It encourages deep slow breathing which allows oxygen to go to the brain and throughout the body increasing feelings of relaxation. There are even specific yoga poses that help relieve anxiety. Here you will find which one’s help with anxiety.

It provides health benefits along with emotional benefits,

Self-Help Books

Personally, I’ve found that reading relevant and appropriate books have helped me learn more about the anxiety I used to experience which helped me process my thoughts and responses. A few books that help with overcoming anxiety include Rewire Your Anxious Brain, The Anxiety Toolkit, & Take Control of Your Anxiety, just to name a few. There are so many more available through Audiobooks which also offer a free trial. Having books on Audio is so convenient and can be played at any time you’re ready. Here’s an audiobook I personally recommend for anyone wanting to overcome anxiety naturally

Exercise

Exercise, in general, is also a great way to boost happy hormones. I’m not talking about running a marathon or triathlon unless you want to. It only needs to be a minimum of 15 minutes to get your body moving. Consider joining a social sport that you enjoy playing, or going for a walk around your neighborhood. Even some exercises at home can help get the blood circulating and increase your positive feelings. For more information on improving your well being through exercise read this.

Connect with Nature

Nature has a calming effect on the senses which can help you relax and be present. Other health benefits of getting outside is your body’s production of melatonin which helps you sleep at night and getting valuable vitamin D.

Summing Up

I hope this list can help give you the inspiration to know that there are ways to work through the anxiety. You’re not stuck with it for the rest of your life. Engage in proactively working through it. It’s easy to try to avoid situations that increase your anxiety, but this isn’t helpful and doesn’t address the issue, instead keeps you stuck with feeling that way. Be brave and do something that you feel comfortable doing that can help work through and alleviate the anxiety. You might need to keep a list or put a reminder in your phone to make sure you remember to do the activity you chose to help you work on overcoming the anxiety naturally.

You can do this! It is possible to reduce the anxiety in your life. It could take time, but you’ve got to start somewhere.

If you’ve found any of the above or something else has worked for you in alleviating your anxiety, I would love to hear from you. Leave your comments below.

July 4, 2019July 17, 2019

Online Programs for Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Please note: affiliate links are contained on this page. If you click on them and make a purchase I will get a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Anxiety and Panic Attacks – Help is Here

Are you looking for support and learning how to manage anxiety and panic attacks? Look no further as I have done the legwork for you. I’ve been looking around to find appropriate and relevant programs to make it easier for you to decide which one will be best for you.

What is Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety is a feeling that is linked with our fight or flight system. It can help us to predict or prepare for things using adrenalin. The problem with anxiety in today’s world is that if this anxiety doesn’t settle down and allow ourselves to relax, our bodies continue to be in this heightened state. This can wreak havoc on our nervous system consequently affecting our physical and mental health.

Anxiety is the experience of constantly living in a state of fear. Thoughts such as ‘what if I can’t do this’, and, “I’m scared of “what might happen” can contribute and fuel this anxiety.

Why Get help?

There’s value in getting support with anxiety. You don’t have to deal with it on your own. Even if you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone face to face, it can be something you can work on from home, Through a program that can guide you with strategies derived from research.

It’s quite common for individuals to hide their anxiety too. You might not even be aware when someone experiences anxiety, Yet on the inside that person is really struggling with the situation or their thoughts and feelings contributing to this emotional pain.

No one needs to suffer alone. We aren’t necessarily born with the skills and knowledge of how to manage anxiety on our own. It’s usually something that we need to learn on our own in our own way when we are ready.

Like the saying goes,

‘when the student is ready, the teacher will appear’.

There are a number of different strategies and therapeutic techniques that help you work through and manage anxiety.

Therapeutic Approaches

One of the types of therapeutic approaches includes Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It’s demonstrated scientifically to be very effective in managing anxiety,

Other approaches include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Mindfulness is also something that can help with learning how to reduce anxiety and panic attacks.

Additionally, I have created a post on Grounding Techniques that you can use too. You can find it here.

Another approach is Neuro Linguistic programming or NLP. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is also another way to sit with anxiety and work through it using acupressure points on your body. There are many ways to help.

The programs below are aimed specifically at guiding you on managing anxiety using some of these approaches.

Programs to Alleviate Anxiety

Anxiety Healing Program

This program can be done from the comfort of your own home.

It’s highly effective in helping one work through anxiety and overcome it.

The whole program costs less than one therapy session.

The therapeutic value has the same benefit of 8 sessions of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

It is totally private,

There is no subscription necessary.

Once you purchase the program you own it, it’s yours, no followup pestering emails or upsells.

Online-Therapy

This program works just as effectively as face to face support and is a proven way of managing anxiety using CBT techniques. It can help you work through a wide range if issues, including anxiety and panic attacks.

This program offers a complete range of therapeutic toolbox online. It includes a Personal Therapist, activity plan, journal, live chat, yoga, worksheets and more.

Panic Away

This program offers genuine support for those experiencing panic attacks who want to stop them from happening. Panic Attacks can be debilitating and can stop people from engaging fully in life for fear of having a panic attack. One of the biggest aspects of panic attacks is the fear of having one, which impacts how one interacts with world because this fear holds them back. Experiencing a panic attack can make you feel like your world is falling apart. This program works on short circuiting the panic loop.

This program has helped thousands of people to no longer experience panic attacks through a well researched and knowledgeable program which was created by a psychologist who understands how panic attacks affect one’s life and how to help people stop their occurrence. You still have to do the work, as with any new learning, but this shows you what to do and gives you the tools to put into place how to stop panic attack.

The program includes an ebook, videos, audios and access to a members area.

Blessing Manifesting

This one is about self love and self compassion. Something I value highly. I believe that a lot disharmony with our mental well being has a lot to do with not accepting ourselves and not having a positive view of our self. Here you will find a range of workbooks for you to go through and process from your perspective to get you reflecting while also guiding you on what to focus on to build on your self love.

You can either buy individual items or get the whole bundle for $82 which includes Self love Workbook, Breathe – Anxiety Workbook, Breathe Anxiety Journal, Random Acts of Kindness Cards,

Mental Health, Parenting, Relationship, Recovery, Uncovering Grief add-ons, and A Self Care Calendar. There’s heaps more, so click on the pic below to find out more.

7 Minute Mindfulness

This program helps you work on mindfulness in a short 7 minutes of your day. Regular practise of mindfulness can reduce depression, anxiety, stress and anger. When you practice mindfulness daily, you can find peace. Reducing the need to control the world, and instead develop a deep relaxation. Mindfulness also increases neuroplasticity, and helps manage emotions no matter what the circumstances.

Self Therapy Journey

Although this isn’t aimed specifically at managing anxiety and panic attacks, it covers issues that are usually the reason behind the anxiety you feel.

The issues they address help work on usually occur with the experience of anxiety include:

bulimia
need for control
fear of conflict
people pleasing
shyness
lack of self confidence
perfectionism

If any of these resonate for you, go over to the Self-Therapy Journal and check out which issue you want to work on. There is also resources for building on your self-capacity for various issues including social confidence and assertiveness. There are many options to choose from that you can consider you want to work through from a personal growth and development perspective that can grow your confidence in being able to handle anxiety.

They offer an online community as well as books, resources, and courses for anyone wanting to work on their stuff.

There’s a range of quizzes there too which you might want to take to see if any of them might be relevant for you.

Heather LeGuilloux

Heather LeGuilloux is a Mental Health Blogger and a registered clinical counsellor.

Her goal is to help others work through their mental health through practical strategies for everyday use.

She has created a number of workbooks to help manage and work through depression, anxiety, motivation and reaching your goals. For your free Anxiety Pocket ebook click here.

Better Help

Better Help Is a website dedicated to providing you with one on one counselling and support. A counsellor is matched to you and your needs who will work with you. This services is limited to those living in the US. Here’s where to go https://www.betterhelp.com/

Final Words

I hope this provides you with a range of options for you designed specifically to help you find a program that will help you overcome anxiety and panic attacks.

Ultimately each program will require you to reflect and apply the ideas and recommendations provided. No one can magically take away your anxiety unless you do the work and process the available information.

I would love to hear from you if you’ve had any experience with any of the above programs and found them useful for you overcoming your anxiety.

Which one would you choose? Leave your comments below.

July 2, 2019

7 Grounding Techniques to Help With Anxiety

Grounding Techniques to Help with Anxiety

Grounding is a way to bring oneself back to the present moment, the here and now. Many people can experience anxiety and thoughts that are either in the future or past. Often people who experienced trauma during childhood could have flashbacks that can make them feel like they’re back when the event happened. Here we will discuss grounding techniques to help with anxiety and bring one to the present moment.

Anxiety can also be future oriented thinking, in particular ‘what if’ thoughts which can also increase anxiety. Grounding can help with this too by focusing on the present instead of the future which hasn’t happened yet.

When experiencing anxiety and flashbacks, it’s important to focus on self care. .For ideas on managing self care, have a read through one of my other posts.

Breathe

You might notice that breathing comes up a lot as a strategy to manage big feelings. This is because when we are having strong feelings, our breathing gets faster and more shallow without us being aware of it. So we need to keep remembering to breathe. It also helps as a grounding strategy as you will soon see.

Breathing Techniques

Focussing on your breath helps ground you. This is because it makes us think about how we breathe while also making us focus on this moment. You can’t breathe a breath from the past, you can’t breathe a breath from the future, you can only breathe in the now. Hence using the breath to anchor you into the here and now.

5, 2, Release Strategy

My favourite breathing technique which has helped many of my clients is the 5, 2, release strategy.

This is where you count to 5 as you breathe in. It doesn’t have to be a deep breath, but it’s longer than a normal breath. Then hold for 2 seconds. This helps cleanse the lymphatic system, then release for as long as you need to slowly. Notice the moment between the out breath and the in breath. Then breath in again counting to 5.

If you are struggling to do 5 seconds breath in, then start with 4 and work up to 5 or longer.

The main thing to focus on here is slowing down your breathing so that it can help you relax.

While you are doing this exercise also become aware of how your body moves as you breathe in then out. Notice the temperature of the air on your nostrils as you breathe in. Then notice the temperature as you breathe out and how it’s different.

When working on breathing imagine filling up your belly like it’s a balloon as you breathe in.

Blow out the Candles

This is perfect for younger children as they have great imaginations, Thinking about candles helps them think about something else other than the thing that they’re getting worried about.

Hold your hand up in front of the child. Next, wiggle your fingers in front of them and say to the child, ‘imagine that there’s candles on your hand’ as you wiggle them. Then tell your child to blow out the candles.

Blow up a balloon.

Using imagination again, encourage your child in front of you to imagine blowing up a balloon with their hands in front of them. This encourages them to draw a big breath in and then blow out all the air.

Colors Grounding

Notice a color around you, Name the item and keep looking for more of items of the same color for a few moments. Once you can’t find any more, look for a different colour until you notice feeling calmer.

Use of Water

Wash your hands in cold water. Be aware of how the water feels on your hands as it washes over them. Take note of the temperature of the water. Notice how it feels to have the water on your hands. Notice what it looks like.
Have a shower and notice the movement of the flowing water. Notice the temperature of the water. Breathe. Notice the suds as you clean yourself. Notice the smells from the soap.

5 Senses Grounding

Notice 5 things you can see around you. Say them out loud slowly.

Then notice 4 things you can feel with your sense of touch. Say it aloud or to yourself each thing you can feel.

Next listen for 3 things you can hear.

Then notice 2 things you can either smell or taste.

Finally think of one thing you can feel grateful for.

Notice now how you feel after doing this exercise. What’s that like for you.

For a guided 5 senses grounding do a search on Youtube.

Sitting or standing

If you are sitting down, become aware of what you are sitting on. Notice how it feels under you. Notice the temperature of what you’re sitting on. What’s the texture of the seat. Is it hard or soft, smooth, fluffy, hard.

For when you are standing, notice where you are. What does it feel like under your feet. Notice the texture of the surface you are standing on. Is it smooth, dirty, soft, hard.

Be with your Pet

Pets are great companions but did you also know they can help you feel grounded when you are with them? Try this to practice grounding with your pet.

Be with your pet. Notice their features, colors texture. Listen to their sounds. Do they pur, or pant? How do they feel to touch, are they warm, cool, soft, fluffy, rough etc. Do they have a smell of some kind? What’s your favorite thing about them.

For more information about how pets can help us with our mental health, read this.

Make a Cuppa

Make yourself a drink of either a cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate.

Notice the sounds of the kettle as it boils. As you’re pouring the hot water into the mug or pot, notice the steam rising. Watch the water pour into the mug/cup/pot. Notice the smells of the drink you’re making. When you’re holding your cup or mug, wrap your hands around the mug and notice how it feels, smells. Be aware of the taste when you drink. Notice the movement of the liquid in your mug.

Final words

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and intense feelings, write a list of the techniques from above that resonate with you. Add it to your notes app on your phone or carry a list with you to remind you.of these grounding techniques to help with anxiety. Some will work sometimes, and at other times, different ones will work. The main thing is to engage in the strategies to allow them to work for you. Be kind to yourself.

Namaste

June 30, 2019August 13, 2019

What are the 4 Pillars of Well Being

The 4 Pillars of Well Being

Firstly let’s explore what wellbeing is. Wellbeing is acknowledging that we are a whole being so we need to consider our well being from a holistic perspective. An individual is more than just physical health and wellness. It considers and acknowledges the emotional, physical and social well being of a person. Well being describes essential parts that need to be met by ourselves that help us function at an optimal level. It is incorporates how we feel, cope, and manage our responses to life’s stresses. If any of the 4 pillars of well being aren’t met, we will tend to function at a reduced capacity and struggle.with lifes challenges.

Basic Needs

Through my observations as a counsellor working with complex client situations, mental illness, and abuse, I believe that pillars of well being need to be simple and meet one’s needs necessary to allow one to flourish. If the 4 pillars of well being listed below are met, then other areas of life can build and flourish.

However, if one of these areas are not met, it seems that one’s resilience is affected and ability to cope amidst stress is compromised. The individual is less able to work through the problem as effectively as if these pillars of well being are met.

In my view, pillars of wellbeing are where the needs of an individual are met before a sense of well being can be felt. Having these main areas of life met allows for the development of resilience and improved positive feelings can be experienced.

I have broken these up into Primary and Secondary PIllars of well being as if the primary pillars of well being aren’t met, then the secondary components also won’t be met until the primary ones have been.

4 Pillars of Well Being

Primary

Sleep

Sleep is essential for us humans. Without sleep, researchers have shown that we become delirious, hallucinate, can’t think straight and even put on weight.. We know how much babies need their sleep for their growing bodies but also to rest their senses from stimulus overload. The same is true for adults, if we don’t sleep, our bodies don’t produce the necessary hormones, and recovery that we need.

For example what if you haven’t been sleeping well for a few nights? How do you feel? Some people can manage on only a few hours, but over time, this can affect one’s mood and cognitive function, Without getting quality sleep, other areas of your life suffer. This shows how important sleep is. When our mood is affected, our well being is affected. It’s harder to cope with a stressful situation. If you are struggling to get quality sleep, check out these tips to help get you sleeping well.

Movement

Our bodies are designed to move. It’s that simple. During our evolution, we were on the move frequently. We would hunt, play, move around. Then we started living in communities, towns evolved, cities grew. As time progressed, we have become more sedentary. We are the most sedentary than we have ever been. We need to move to allow our muscles to do their job, help us get from one place to the next.

I’m not talking about running a marathon or even jogging, unless that’s what you enjoy. Movement can be walking, swimming, skating, pilates, stretching. It can be anything you enjoy that allows your body to move. Personally I have started doing taekwondo at the age of 44. Within a year, I’ve been able to get more height in my kick which I never thought would actually happen. When we do some form of exercise in particular, our bodies have this amazing effect where hormones are released that make us feel good. So there’s so much more to movement than just working up a sweat. It also helps with mental health.

Nutrition

The need to make healthy nutritional choices also has an effect on our well being. When a person doesn’t eat well, eats mostly processed and nutrient deficient foods, it affects the brain and the gut flora. This in turn affects how we feel physically and mentally. Health issues have been on the rise for decades at an alarming rate leading to obesity, Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease among numerous others. Research is increasingly finding that diets low in carbohydrates as effective for turning these health issues around. For more information on this click here. and here.

Social Connections

Through interacting with others you ensure you aren’t isolated and can talk through your experiences. Research shows that those who are socially isolated have a much higher incidence of mental illness than those who interact with others.

Having a sense of connection with others allows the nurturing of relationships and a sense of belonging.

It also allows us to share our experiences with others while also having someone to talk to if things are not so great. By engaging with social connections and relationships our emotional needs are also met. It’s important to talk to someone so that our minds aren’t going round and round in circles.

Through social connections we can also consider participating in our community. This also helps in connecting with individuals, while engendering a sense of being part of something bigger than yourself. It can also help build on your sense of altruism if you become a volunteer, participate and get involved.

Secondary

Once the above pillars of well being are met, then a natural progression is to focus on the following areas to support your well being.

Attention

Be present, practice mindfulness, reflect on your environment. Pay attention to your interactions, purposely doing what you do in a conscious way. Take notice of yourself in your space eg how you interact with others, how your body feels when breathing etc.. Taking notice allows you to broaden your awareness around you. Be fully present in your interactions and activities.

Ways to practice this includes:

Mindfulness
Breathing
Grounding using your 5 senses

Relax

Take time out for yourself. Self care and focus on ensuring you get some essential ‘me time’. If you give too much of yourself, you can get burnt out. If we allow our stress levels to build up, this will inevitably affect our sleep, physical health and emotional health which will impact the 4 pillars of well being. For help with learning how to relax try this program.

Connect with nature. This helps you be more aware of your surroundings increasing your ability to pay attention while also be present. Nature can have a calming effect on our senses and help ground us.

Find something that you get a sense of relaxation from. If you don’t have much time, listen to your favorite music and not do anything for at least 5 minutes. Stop and be. .

Attitude

With a negative perspective, it’s likely to influence how you respond to your environment which impacts how you feel. With the right attitude, we can conquer the world, however that looks to you. If you notice that you are thinking from a negative perspective, instead of berate yourself for doing this which becomes a vicious circle, reframe the negative into a positive. One way that can help you shift your focus to a more positive view is through thinking of something you are grateful for. Here’s a guide to the health benefits of gratitude.

Final words

When we look after ourselves from a holistic perspective, we can function at a higher level, achieve more, and feel more positive towards life and our way of being in it. .

Please share your thoughts of what you find are the pillars of well being for you below in the comments.

June 27, 2019July 3, 2019

What is a Self Care Plan and Why It’s Important

Have you given yourself much time to you lately? What does ‘me time’ mean to you? When we think about self care, we need to have a plan to be able to practice this idea of self care and incorporate it into our lives. Here we discuss what is a self care plan so we can nurture ourselves.

Self care is the number one thing that I believe is essential to our well being. Do you actively, consciously and purposefully do something that you would define as self care on a regular basis?

Self care can mean a lot of different things to many people.

Self care can be in the areas of physical, emotional, professional, spiritual, psychological and relationships.

Definition of Self Care

Let’s look at what self care might mean

The definition of self care is the practice of taking care of one’s well being and happiness especially during times of stress.

This means it needs to be purposeful and intentional action of doing something that you value as being something that nurtures your well being. It helps to manage how you feel especially during times of stress. It gives you some ‘me’ time to allow you to connect with yourself to restore your health.

The Importance of Self Care

When we don’t look after our needs and give ourselves time out, we can get burnt out from the exhaustion of the stress of our lives. Life can get hectic, stressful and busy. If we ignore our own needs and don’t look after ourselves, we won’t be able to keep doing what we’ve been doing. If anything it can make us sick if we don’t take time out for ourselves. Stress can build up. Being humans, we are also prone to not coping after an excessive amount of exposure to the stress in our lives. Our mental health will suffer.

One thing that I often remind my clients is, ‘how can you look after your family or kids if your health or mental health suffers?’ Realistically, we need to look after ourselves so that we can be available and of any help to support those around us. For ideas on how to manage stress have a look at my blog post

When we practice self care on a regular basis it helps to reduce anxiety and restores and uplifts one’s mood.

What is Self Care

Self care needs to be something you do that you feel is a self care action. If you do things that you don’t consider as part of a self care routine, then it won’t be a form of self care for you. It needs to be a conscious decision that you give your time and energy to creating intentional self care.
Set boundaries around what you don’t want to do. This is okay, give yourself permission to not check your emails, facebook, instagram for a set timeframe. Untether yourself and know what you don’t want to do as part of your self care routine.
Start with small things that feel like self care for you. Don’t over complicate it. Keep it simple, especially at the beginning of your self care routine creation.

What Self Care Isn’t

It’s ensuring you don’t force yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with.

It’s not selfish – many people think that doing something for ourselves can be perceived as selfish. This is definitely not the case.

Any addictive behaviours and substance taking. This might be a no brainer, but I’ve included this here, as for some people, they might consider having a wine or beer every night is a form of self care. It might be, but if this is something you do out of habit, or actually find very difficult to stop, consider this as a possible addiction. It’s not self care. Look into getting some support for this if it’s become an addiction.

Create Your Self Care Plan

Allocate time in your day to do at least one thing that you would consider as self care for yourself. Be consistent in practicing and putting this activity into action. It can be hard to change habits and create new ones. So be assertive with yourself so that you prioritise your needs to make sure you can nurture yourself and practice self love and compassion.
Are you the kind of person who needs to remind yourself what you need to do. Set yourself an alarm on your phone to set aside your ‘me time’ and make sure you put it into action.
Turn your phone and all other distractions off during your self care activity.
Let others know this is what you’re doing so you can be accountable for actioning them rather than putting it off and not making your self care a priority.
Be aware of what your self care activity is, why you’re doing it, how you feel when doing it and be purposeful when you practice it. This is key to ensuring you get benefits from doing self care.

How to Practice Self Care

Enjoyment

Think of the things you used to enjoy doing but haven’t had the opportunity or time to do for a while. What helps you feel good?

Exercise

Helps lift one’s mood due to the effects of neurotransmitters released aka serotonin. It doesn’t have to be intense, just get moving.

Consider doing:

Yoga
Tai Chi
Pilates
Walk your dog

as these activities are relaxing as well as grounding for your body. Your body needs to move as it’s one of the pillars of well being. That’s another post I will bring to you in the near future. For now, just know that movement is important.

Sleep

Develop good sleep patterns – get into a regular sleep routine. When we have good sleep, our health is improved, our body can produce the right hormonal balance. When we don’t get enough sleep, we can overeat simply due to not enough leptin being produced during the night which helps us with appetite suppression. More info on this here.

Social Support

Arrange a catch up with a supportive friend or someone you haven’t seen in ages. Nurture your social support networks.

Nutrition

Eat nutrient dense foods that fuel our bodies and allow our body to heal and do their job properly. When we eat processed foods and fast foods, we aren’t nourishing our bodies with nutritious foods which puts our physical health at risk. My suggestion is to cut out carbohydrates as increasing research shows how damaging burning glucose is on a long term basis. Find out more here.

Meditation and Relaxation

Learn how to simply sit for a few minutes a day and listen to your body and mind. Slow your breathing down and focus on your breath. Read through my previous post for ways to incorporate meditation into your daily routine.

Practice Mindfulness

When you notice that you’re thinking too much, it’s time to practice being mindful. Here’s an example… Simply sit where you are. Focus on your breathing and slow it down. Notice how your body moves as you breathe in, then again as you breathe out. Notice what you are thinking about and slow the thoughts down. Just notice that they are there without any judgement, they’re not good or bad, they are simply there. Keep breathing slowly. Pay attention to the things around you, their colours, movements, textures etc. If you notice thoughts, acknowledge them and be present with them. For a program that will guide you through mindfulness using a 7 minute approach try this program.

Get out in Nature

Go for a walk around your neighbourhood or find yourself a park to walk around in. If possible, go for a drive to a local nature reserve and breathe in the fresh air and connect with nature around you. Listen to the sounds, take in deep breaths and notice the smells. Do some gardening.

Do something you enjoy

Find something that you enjoy doing and do it for yourself. Be sure to allocate time to yourself and don’t allow your time to be interrupted. The list is endless. Here’s a few ideas to get you thinking. What appeals to one will be different to the next person.

Do some cooking
Make a cup of tea while practicing mindfulness
Crochet, knit or craft of some kind
Play an instrument
Sing like no one can hear you
Draw
Write in a journal
Dance
Get a massage or facial
Soak your feet in a foot spa
Have a relaxing bath in peace
Read a book that you have been wanting to read for ages

What ever you decide to do, do it regularly. Have purpose in your activity knowing that it’s your time. Give yourself an activity that you can feel and gets you in touch with who you are and what your interests are.

For your mental and emotional well being.

Tell me what you like to do as part of your self care plan. Leave in the comments below.