How to Turn Your Day Around

I saw this quote on a board out the front of a nursing home and thought this was very apt for all of us. What does it mean to have a good day? How can you learn to say it was a good day when things just don’t go your way sometimes?

We don’t always have good days. Some days just don’t end up the way we intended. Sometimes, we make mistakes, we say something stupid. Or maybe things don’t happen the way we were hoping. Perhaps you hear some devastating news, or something tragic happens. There are things we can control, things we can’t control and things that simply just happen. When we happen to have one of those not=so=good days, it’s important to not take them to heart. We need to self-preserve and not let things get out of proportion.

Reframe It

Reframing is a very handy tool in our coping strategies toolbox. When you can see things from a different perspective it can change the way we feel about it and change our responses. The above quote helps to reframe a bad day and think about how to look for things that happen within that bad day and see them differently.

Here’s a possible day:

Bad Day

You’ve been to the dentist, you’ve had to pay a stupid amount of money to get one tooth fixed. this has increased your stress levels. That money was going towards your new laptop. Instead, you have to put it towards that darned tooth. How frustrating. During that same day, your kids are driving you crazy with their constant fighting. Then you say something to a friend that came out the wrong way which triggers your anxiety. Now you feel this ongoing anxiety with its relentless critical barrage of thoughts running around your mind making you feel worse.

Same-Day but See the Good

You can reframe your dentist appointment by saying to yourself, ‘I am able to keep my teeth healthy. I am no longer be in pain’. Also, remind yourself that you actually had the money to be able to pay for the emergency dental appointment. This took the stress away from figuring out how you will pay for it.

You get a random hug from your eldest daughter and you go for a walk with your dog.

You spent valuable heartfelt time with your friend who was very understanding and compassionate. Even though you said the wrong thing to your friend, they talk about it with you and you feel better for it. The reframe here is, “it’s helped me talk more openly with my friend instead of allowing the anxiety to take over.’

When we notice and become aware of the positives from our day, it can actually help the anxiety lower, as we focus on something else rather than fueling the anxious thoughts. For more ways to deal with anxiety pop over here and have a read.

Within this day, although having to spend hard-earned cash on a tooth might seem like it’s a bad thing, you also had some really cool, positive things that happened too. By reframing the way you perceive the events, you can shift your emotional response to them.

Acceptance

Being able to accept that events have turned out the way they have will help in being able to release the negative feelings about it. Instead helps to sit with what happened. This creates less resistance around the event and lowers the feeling in response. Finding ways to sit with the way things go allows one to find acceptance in it. This doesn’t mean that you accept being treated like crap if that happened. It’s about letting go of your internal battle inside your mind of trying to either get rid of the feeling or wish things didn’t happen the way they did.

We all have an observer part of our mind. It’s the part of our mind that can witness what we are doing, notice how we think. Notice how we respond. When you can become the observer and notice how you think, feel, act, this can help in being able to create distance with the negative thoughts that rampage through our minds. By noticing and being aware of the thoughts instead of resisting them, we can accept them being there. Even find it easier to handle the thoughts being there. Then we might also be able to notice the other parts of our day instead of just the ones that stand out as being awful/bad/crap etc.

End of the Day

At the end of your day, be sure to write down at least one thing that went well during the day. Something you can say that allows you to have bring to mind the good parts of your day.

Ask yourself, “What happened today that went well?’

Maybe your child gave you a random unprompted hug which brought a smile to your face. Maybe it was having someone shout you a coffee during the day.

Focus on remembering what was more pleasant or positive than the other not-so-good parts of your day. This shifts your focus from negative to more positive.

Write down things you are grateful for if you are struggling to remember any of the good parts of your day. There are many benefits to being grateful that I’ve written about here.

When we think of the positives at the end of the day before we drift off to sleep, we are allowing our brains to simmer for the next 7-8 hours on this which can help with waking up with a positive refreshed focus for beginning a new day.

Hypnosis – Another way to do this can be to do a guided hypnosis every night before drifting off to a deep slumber. Here’s a freebie to get you started.

Final Thoughts

Everyone has a bad day here and there. It’s how you deal with it that determines whether it actually is the whole day that went sour or look at it from a different perspective to keep it in perspective. Think about what were the good bits that happened in your day.

Reframing, acceptance, and gratitude are all ways to help shift the way we see things no matter what they are. It can relieve stress, and shift a negative mood to a positive one.

The Healing Power of Gratitude

Have you ever wondered how gratitude can make any difference? The healing power of gratitude is something that can often be misunderstood and unappreciated.

Seeing news events where refugees are displaced, war torn zones of Iraq, African civil wars, and closer to home child abuse, domestic violence, shootings, drug addiction among many other issues that people face, it’s hard to know how to deal with all of these sad events knowing that we are limited with our capacity to stop the pain. There are many ways we can show our love and compassion. Shifting our own energy and looking for volunteer opportunities and donation opportunities can help various groups around the world. I know we can’t change the whole world or donate to every charity we come across. What I’m suggesting here is simply considering our own fortune, privilege and what we have can help us be more aware and consider finding a purpose to give and show compassion within our capacity.

When we think about just how much we do have, this can help us build on our compassion for others, and opens us to considering others perspectives and circumstances. This helps build on kindness and love for each other. I know each person’s circumstances are different, but it’s also about perspective. While some might have the latest iphone and sports car, another person can appreciate and be grateful for a second hand phone and a car that gets them from A to B. You don’t have to have a big house, expensive clothes and the latest stuff. Simply thinking of what you do have can help you feel more thankful for your own circumstances and build on compassion for others.

What is Gratitude

Gratitude is the feeling of being thankful for what you have in your life. Both physical, psychological and spiritual. Gratitude can be for circumstances rather than material things. It is a feeling that produces longer lasting positive emotions which has a positive effect on behaviour. According to the Harvard Medical School is,

‘a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives … As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals–whether to other people, nature, or a higher power’.

How can it heal?

Healing here is in the sense of our mental health and well being. We are a whole person with physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual aspects. It is thought that our emotions can show themselves through our physical health too. According to the late Louise Hay when there is emotional disease, there is physical disease. One of her 100 quotes is, ‘my happy thoughts help create my healthy body’. Louise Hay believed that when we have negative emotions, they will show themselves in our physical body. So if you practice gratitude regularly, this can help heal your body as it can lift your emotions and help you practice self love and compassion.

Practicing gratitude can also increase feelings of love for those around us. This in turn increases our interactions with others, our energy and how we communicate. It also builds on our social connection with those around us.

Through gratitude or appreciation one can build on one’s spirituality and be grateful for breathing and being on this earth. It can be a rewarding feeling too.

It is based on giving of oneself in some way selflessly without expecting anything in return.

Either through positive thoughts or through positive interactions with others. This can heal social connections and nurture relationships. Being connected with others is essential to our general well being. Those without social connections struggle with their well being. As human beings we need to have social interactions of some kind. When we incorporate consciously building on increasing feelings of gratitude, we can build on our social connections with others, thus enhancing our personal well being.

Since gratitude can help boost one’s mood and create positive feelings, incorporating the practice of gratitude on a regular basis can be a strategy among various treatments to help support someone suffering from this complicated illness. Those who practice gratitude have also been shown to have a positive satisfaction to life.

What else can it do?

Gratitude can help to shift your mood. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling cranky or upset with something, it can be quite a challenge to shift those feelings. Especially if you feel hard done by, or that you’re not at fault for whatever the incident was. Instead, gratitude fosters positivity in those who practice it on a regular basis. Positivity has also been shown with improving one’s health through being able to make healthy choices.

I’ve even talked about this with my children as they often have lots of feelings including frustration. When we drive in the car, or sitting together on the lounge, it’s a good time for us to talk about and say at least one thing we each grateful for. This helps us bond with our children. It can also help them develop using gratitude as a strategy if they have a hard time with something they come across in their world.

Practicing gratitude can have a positive effect on our optimism.

Increased Happiness – Those who practice gratitude also feel happier within themselves. Research has also shown that this feeling lasts for a weeks.

Manifesting

Gratitude is often linked with manifesting something you want in life. This is based on physics where everything is energy. When one practices building on feelings of gratitude, one can manifest things they want in life. This might be in the area of improved friendships, attracting a partner, increasing wealth or improving health.

How to Practice Gratitude

Gratitude can be practiced in many different ways. Here’s a list of things that you can be grateful for just to get you started.

I am grateful for:-

a roof over my head
the career I have chosen
the support I have available to me
my health
my family
fabulous friends

These are just a few examples to get you thinking about the possibilities. I’m sure you can come up with numerous more, many and varied things that are relevant for you.

Journal: Some people find it helpful to write in a journal, either upon waking up, to start the new day or before going to bed. Both of these times help set up your mood for your day.

Before Sleep: What we think about before we go to sleep is very important as those thoughts get marinated for the next 8 hours. So practicing gratitude before going to sleep at night can help you have a restful, pleasant sleep and wake up in a positive mood.

Throughout the Day: On our way to work, driving, on the train or bus, we can practice and think about things we are grateful for.

When Feeling Stressed: When you notice your thoughts having a negative effect on your mood, it can help to think about something we are grateful for.

Guided Meditation: Some people like to practice gratitude with the help of a guided meditation. Here’s one of my favorite youtube people Jason Stephenson sharing his thoughts on gratitude.

I hope you have found some value in discovering the healing power of gratitude. What have you noticed when practicing gratitude yourself? Leave your comments below.

Tag: gratitude

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